Fitness as someone with 2 children and no village?

Hey, I’m really keen to improve my health now I’m 6 weeks postpartum, I’m more than two stone heavier than I was before I got pregnant and I just don’t feel myself, fitness was a big part of my life pre-kids.

Any tips for finding time for exercise with a bab and toddler, when you are doing it alone 80% of the time?

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I was an avid walker before kids. Constantly out on the local moors. I've just been going to parks and nature reserves for walks. Outside, some kind of exercise and kids get some fresh air and a play on a park if theres one around. Nothing like what I used to do or gym but with a heavy pram I see it as a work out. I try and get out at least once a week. Lifting the pram is the weights, uphill with a pram resistance and long ish walks stamina. Just adapting to what I can do and a coffee for myself at the end

Not sure if you're a fan on TV time but we do kids workout vids, even harder when baby is strapped to me. Daily walks to nursery or with toddler on their bike, family yoga with baby lying down when awake and toddler copying me or visa versa. We have dance parties where toddler and I pick a song and dance our hearts out and finally the 'copy' game where I copy toddler's moves while baby wearing for weights (this is admittedly hard). This is just a way to get movement in, I'm not sure on your little ones age but you aren't alone, any movement counts.

It's hard at this stage but with my first I went for long walks with my son and on calorie deficit diet. Lost a bit of weight before our holiday.

Have you looked for any baby friendly fitness groups? I did sweaty mamas with my last baby and it was great. They are fine with toddlers too. Also running with a double buggy when the little one is a bit older ☺️

I only have my husband and no village otherwise (not sure what your circumstances are). Luckily my 3 year old is at the childminders full time.

Here’s what I do:

Tuesday & Thursday my husband works from home so I go to our local gym for a 40-45 min weight lifting session on his lunch break (supersets all the way)
Monday & Wednesday & Friday I’m on my own at home so I do Pilates for 30-45 mins whenever I can (baby asleep or right after a feed I lay him next to me so he can see me) sometimes I have to keep doing it with him on me (bit of extra weight 😂) but I make it work.
Saturday OR Sunday first thing in the morning I get another weight lifting session with hubby at home with kids.

Look up “Move with Nicole” on YouTube. X

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I’ve been with my partner for 6 years. We had a rough time around a year in due to his mental health, but he is doing so well now and we’re stronger than ever!
There have been a few things that his mum has said, and now I don’t want to see her or spend time with her alone. I just wanted everyone’s thoughts.
The first thing was when we got the mortgage. My partner received an inheritance, but I put in the exact same amount towards the deposit because I helped him pay off his car, which removed a bill before we applied for the mortgage. She told him we shouldn’t have gone 50/50 because of this, giving him more financial security.
I moved on from it as I thought, she just wants the best for her son.

We planned this pregnancy and have saved over £10,000 for financial security. The majority of the savings are from me as I have a higher income. I do not mind this, as I’ll be taking a full year off work, and him contributing means a lot because it allows me to.

We have since gotten along well, including her messaging me decor ideas and gardening tips.

When we told her I was pregnant, she cried. I knew it was because she wasn’t happy, but my partner wanted to hope that she was just processing. Still, she congratulated us.

A few weeks later, she told him she was worried he was going to be ‘trapped’ and end up paying ‘child maintenance.’
He stood up for me and told her this was way out of line.
She apologised and said it wasn’t her intention, and that she was just worried about his mental health. For context, at the beginning of the year he was extremely low; this was all as a result of his employer treating him awfully. He has a new job and is THRIVING, back to my weird, happy, and hyperactive partner.
She said she made those comments because she was worried about his mental health and the pressure on our relationship. Despite the fact that I was the one here.. every day supporting him and getting him through it, whilst she called him once or twice a week to check in. She ended up staying at ours for a week so he wasn’t alone which I was grateful for. But she only experience a week of it, I got him through almost 3 months until he started his new job.

The comments felt very personal because I grew up on a council estate and in an abusive household and she knows that. In my opinion, if that’s what she was worried about, that’s what she should have said. But given everything I have done to support him, the comments aren’t justified in my opinion.

She then blamed her upbringing and how her life has been so hard, including the divorce from his dad. She’s very negative about his dad and refuses to see him, even though it would mean missing her own daughter’s wedding.

My partner still talks to her, and I don’t expect him to stop. She has not sent me a single message—not even an apology—since. It’s been weeks.

My stance is that I will go to family gatherings if she is there, but I will not make any trips to see her or stay at her house like we used to. She can see the baby as much as she likes, but I don’t want to see or speak to her unless I have to. She doesn’t even know if she’s going to hold the baby, as she’s also said she doesn’t like babies. I won’t let her impact my daughter.

My partner understands and won’t push it, but I still feel bad.

For me, because I grew up abused, I’m not willing to be treated or spoken about like that. Had she apologised, I could have moved on, but she’s made no contact with me since.

Am I being unreasonable?

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I’d love to hear how other working moms have made genuine friendships. Where do you meet people? How do you find your circle at this stage of life?