what would you do?

my boyfriend and I started dating July 2024. Our baby was born October 2025. I’m five months postpartum. Obviously it was unexpected, but we made the decision to do this together and he bought us a house that we now live in.

it is so bad here. We were arguing a lot before we had a baby, but it was like still a lot of love and passionate, just couldn’t communicate and immature. We said we’d make it work and went to counseling, it didn’t help. But our baby’s born now and we live together. I think we’re both dealing with adjusting to this new life, trying to get over the past, living together; he has resentment about rushing into this. I have resentment about his past mistakes. We don’t really get along, or even if we’re not arguing, it’s this weirdness in the air like tension anxiety feeling. he also went cold on me, he used to be the one like obsessed with making the relationship work and now I am while he pulls away. he works from home and I’m a stay at home. Mom and every day is pretty much the same here. It’s a cycle of like boredom and nerves and I don’t even know it just so fucking weird. Everything feels forced. I’m really in love with him and always dreamed of a family, and everything worked out with his job, the house, everything. It’s like everything fell into place with the guy im in love with, but all that’s left is us getting along.

we had a talk today and he said that timing of everything was just a lot. And he’s unhappy and knows I am too. Because we don’t get along, and we don’t even get along with each other’s family and friends too much (we’ve vented to them about our relationship) so it’s weird that no one really comes over. That it’s uncomfortable life. I agree, but also the only way to get better is to decide to together. everything he said is valid, but it hurts because I’m on the other end where I can feel him distant, and just the energy that he doesn’t really want to be together anymore. But he tells me he still does. That he loves me but we dont get along and everything’s so weird he doesnt know what to do anymore. And netiher do I. But that he doesn’t think we’ll last with the way things are going. I don’t know l what to do. We need to make changes. I don’t think this is worth leaving at least not yet, but I don’t even know how to try.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

What is the best scenario you want? Focus on what you want and need and find a creative nice way to have it .. marriage ?
Having family or friends over arrange it with current means .. everything has a price even good things so choose the cost you wanna pay and it seems like a very logical nice relationship with real adults so focus on the good part and hopefully this family will grow rather than sth bad happening to it.. its definitely harder with a new baby and postpartum but you gotta be the bigger person as you are the ultimate goal😉 you are what makes it a family ..

Hmm this is a tough one. I know when my husband and I have problems it helps to just reset. Remember what made us fall in love in the first place. Atleast it’s what I do, my guy acts like nothing I do bugs him. But you two need to date again. See what you can do to spoil him. Not with money but with gestures. Maybe he likes back massages or a specific dish. Maybe he likes his things organized neatly after he’s messed it up playing video games. I know you’re busy with the baby but try to do “just because I love you” things. He should notice your efforts and do the same. Also if you have family around that you trust, see if they can watch the baby one evening so you can have a date just the two of you.

in our community

Sleep during the day.

My nearly 4 week baby girl loves her sleep at night and will easily settle back down after her feeds however, during the day I struggle to get her to sleep or when she does she will sleep in my arms, if I try to transfer her to her cot she wakes straight away. Any suggestions on how I can help her or what I’m doing wrong?

Did anyone else’s epidural not work?

Writing retrospectively here. I had a epidural with my 1st baby in 2025 and it pretty much had no effect, I was in absolute agony the whole time (hours). Anyone else experience this?

Midwife now says this isn’t normal and I shouldn’t have been in pain.
Due my 2nd in 6 weeks and debating weather I should go for one again. 😣

Wake windows a myth for some?

My baby seems to laugh in the face of wake windows. We wake around 6-7am, he might fall asleep after his breakfast feed for a little bit but his only other long nap is our lunchtime walk in the carrier. Otherwise he is awake for hours on end but seemingly quite happy.

If anyone has a newborn who also doesn’t conform to the whole 60m rule, don’t worry, your baby isn’t broken and you’re not doing anything wrong, just go with their flow!

Periods

Anyone not had their period yet?? 5 weeks pp not breastfeeding and freaking out 🥲🫣

Am I killing my supply?

So my almost 2 month old has started sleeping for 5.5 hours before waking for his first feed of the night. I usually get him to bed around 10 or 11 right after pumping from both sides and bottle feeding. When he wakes up in the night, either 3:30am or 4:30am, he only eats from one boob then he's back to sleep for another 3 hours. I'll still be engorged in both when he wakes btw. So that means that only one of my boobs is getting emptied throughout the whole night. Basically my question is will this kill my supply?? In one boob or both? What about when he starts sleeping through the night do I need to wake myself up to pump once a night to keep my supply? I still feed/pump every 2 hours or so during the day. But I just don't want to kill my supply because I'm doing the night-time feeds wrong.

Sleep Regression.

Can someone just tell me if it gets better? I’ve tried EVERYTHING. I can deal with day time nap avoidance but I am struggling at night time. My 5 month old has been like since the 4 month mark. She was a good sleeper before this and went 3/4 hour stretches. Now she’s sleeping an hour, crying, patting her bum back to sleep in her cot, waking up not an hour later. It’s just a constant cycle.

I just want to know if your baby has experienced the sleep regression, did they ever come out of it? If so, what age?

TIA x