How do I approach this?

I am at a loss at how to address this problem with my partner without it turning into an argument between the both of us. We are a blended family. I co-parent with my ex-partner and he does with his ex-partner. My eldest 3 from my past relationship live with him and I. And we had a child together. The eldest 3 visit their biological father during the school holidays, so we get a week when it is just my partner, the youngest child and myself. My partner is always calm and relaxed when it is just the 3 of us but when the eldest 3 return, he becomes stressed out, prone to yelling constantly in frustration, telling them all off for minor things, like being slightly too loud and it’s becoming a mental drain for me as I have to pick-up the pieces and calm the kids down due to dysregulation. I had started noticing patterns of him treating ‘our’ child differently compared to the eldest 3 children when the youngest was born. It is something my family have pointed out many times as well. He insists that he loves them all equally but I just don’t see that as he keeps saying he wants to try for another child because he wants a daughter. One of the 4 kids is a girl, so technically, he does have one.

in our community

Weaning

My LO is nearly 6 months and I have fed her some purée pouches but want to give her actual food, blended banana which she loved. I want her to be able to hold the food as she is super active with her hands, but not sure what I can give her? Shes two weeks off being 6 months.

Have you ever shouted at your baby?

Feeling like a terrible mother because after trying to get my baby to nap for nearly 2 hours, I snapped and shouted at my baby. He's going through this awful nap fighting stage, and he will pull out his dummy and then scream like it's my fault. He's an absolute nightmare when he's overtired and I've and an awful couple of weeks already, so I'm just so frustrated. He's also got to the stage where he's hitting, scratching, and pulling my hair, so it's not great. I'm obviously very ashamed but I have little to no support and I'm so fucking tired.

2 under 2s

Been up all night with my newborn and then my toddler woke up at 6am… I’m completely overstimulated, exhausted, and honestly feeling really frustrated.

I’ve ended up shouting at my toddler all morning because he’s been so mischievous and I’m just too tired to handle it today, which is making me feel even worse.

My mother-in-law has taken my toddler so I can rest, which I know I need… but now I just feel rubbish and guilty for sending him. It’s like I can’t win — I’m desperate for a break, but when I get one I feel awful for not having my own child with me.

Does anyone else feel like this? The mum guilt is hitting hard today 💔

Screen time

My 4 month old loves to sit in his swing and watch tv. Mostly miss Rachel, curious George, or honestly what ever it is that I have playing (Dawsons creek lately). It gives me an opportunity to wash bottles or clean up while he’s occupied and I try to keep it at 20 minutes increments but sometimes I do feel bad for allowing it. At the end of the day as mothers I know we all do what works, but what keeps your infants entertained?

Help - in the trenches

Hi all

My baby was born 3 days ago via emergency c section I was 38+5

Me and my partner are in the trenches, we don’t know what we’re doing, and we’re struggling so much

He isn’t supporting me as much as I would like and I fear I have now developed depression.

What we’re struggling with is who has him when and when we both sleep. We try to make a plan but it never happens so for example last night he was going to have him for 3 hours then I was. But by the time I finished helping him (I have no idea what I’m doing I’ve not had a child before) I only had 1.5 hours sleep last night where as he has had almost 4

Every time I speak to him he looks so spaced out and keeps taking everything as an insult. I’m worried that he’s not coping at all. He isn’t listening to me about anything and then proceeds to ‘wing’ everything which is causing us so much issues

I’ve asked him just now to get up so that I can get a couple more hours of sleep in which he has done but when I asked him to hold the baby higher up he just stared at me

I’m at a loss and really don’t know what to do. Midwife came yesterday and helped us a lot, and as a result of that I had my first hour sleep in 3 days. So we are making some progress. I just want to be able to sleep a healthy amount for my body and be able to settle my baby properly

Pregnant and worried my partner may leave/cheat! Is this normal? He has been distant

We have another child and both super exhausted. We haven’t felt connected for some time. When we talk it can be stressful talking about finances, our lack of village which we agree isn’t there but it’s just a rant, our differences in parenting styles, his stressful job which includes a lot of work related gossip and fear mongering. Then the other day he joked about me being a single mum, he doesn’t seem to overly enjoy our life right now, can’t say I do either as some days feel like survival and he can’t wait to have time to himself to doom scroll/read work emails etc.