Help - in the trenches

Day 3 for FTM here too! We have also found it so difficult dealing with little sleep and something brand new, it's not easy. Maybe you can find a time today where you've both slept somewhat and you can really have a good chat about how you are both feeling. Contact your midwife if you feel that you have developed depression. Wishing you the best xx

This is completely normal and it does get better. Both your confidence grows and you just find a rhythm that works for you.

Best advice I got first time round is you don’t need to get out of bed for anything. My partner and I would both stay in bed till 11-12 and would just take it in turns getting an hour here or there. Sometimes that meant me sleeping with baby asleep on my chest and him just staying awake to make sure I didn’t do anything dangerous. I EBF for the first 6 weeks so we had a deal that at night he would do all the nappies, just made me feel less resentful and like i wasn’t doing it all. Once I got the swing of things we started to bring in some proper routine and plan times for each to sleep etc. your baby is still figuring things out so likely won’t work on your schedule so just be flexible to babies needs.

My partner found the transition harder than I did and when I say he is the best hands on dad now….

You will figure it out, it just takes time! X

Congratulations! It is hard, and it does take time.

I remember we were the same with our 1st, we ended up taking shifts for sleep, it took a long time for us to have a sense of normal sleep back or sleep together even.

But it does 100% get better, just takes time to find a balance or something which works for you both.

I also had alot of support from my parents when my hubby went back to work, they would some round alot to help me out

Just remember its just a phase.... its hard to imagine when your 1st time parents, but honestly youll look back in 6mnths and will understand phases much better and how they come and go x

Echoing what everyone is saying, you will find a rytm and it will get better. Rest where you can, and highly recommend sleeping in separate rooms so at least one of you can function. I ebf with my first so husband slept in guest room and took care of everything around the house/changing nappies/cooking etc. so I could get rest, and we stayed in bed a lot and all hours of the day for those first few weeks.

Will say that the first year is rough and having your first child is one of the biggest life transition, so don’t be surprised if you feel resentment towards your partner in the process. BUT it will get better and you both will figure it out🫶 take all the help you can get from midwifes and HV. Talking therapies are great so don’t hold back asking for help from GP/HV if it gets too much.

Huckleberry helped us after day 3 as the mental maths of keeping on top of feeds and nappies was too much. If you log in with the same details you can both have it on your phones