hm

i find myself constantly second guessing if i’m being manipulated by my husband. it feels like he bends things to seem as if i have other terrible motives for decisions i make.. for context, he has allowed his brother to stay with us for months until he gets a job and gets an apartment. i’m upset by this because his brother just loudly doom scrolls on our couch or talks my head off about drama in his life and isn’t really trying to get a job and move out, also im a very introverted person and i like to give my daughter undivided attention when i can. this would be fine in short periods of course but im a sahm and am home ALLLL DAY. anywho, he broke our no vaping rule inside for the 3rd time today, and i told him he only has 3 tries. i in fact after the 2nd time i told him if he can’t stop himself he needs to leave it in his car. and he still ended up not listening. now my husband is telling me he’s not going to kick him out. and is saying that i gave my daughter an anxious attachment to me which to him is “worse for her than his brother vaping inside around her”. he’s telling me it’s not about my daughters health AT ALL and just about me wanting him out. called me a bad mom, a bad partner, and said i only care about myself and am a cold hearted bitch. brought up the whole anxious attachment thing, which btw he says she exhibits because she cries when i leave and come back and when someone else tries to get her to sleep. and he says it’s my fault because im anxious. listen i am anxious sometimes, but isnt that kinda normal behavior for an older baby? she’s 1 and still breastfeeding.. i told him if i am causing her to do that i will do everything i can from here on out to not be anxious. and he responded with “so you can make mistakes and not my brother”

in our community

Have you ever shouted at your baby?

Feeling like a terrible mother because after trying to get my baby to nap for nearly 2 hours, I snapped and shouted at my baby. He's going through this awful nap fighting stage, and he will pull out his dummy and then scream like it's my fault. He's an absolute nightmare when he's overtired and I've and an awful couple of weeks already, so I'm just so frustrated. He's also got to the stage where he's hitting, scratching, and pulling my hair, so it's not great. I'm obviously very ashamed but I have little to no support and I'm so fucking tired.

2 under 2s

Been up all night with my newborn and then my toddler woke up at 6am… I’m completely overstimulated, exhausted, and honestly feeling really frustrated.

I’ve ended up shouting at my toddler all morning because he’s been so mischievous and I’m just too tired to handle it today, which is making me feel even worse.

My mother-in-law has taken my toddler so I can rest, which I know I need… but now I just feel rubbish and guilty for sending him. It’s like I can’t win — I’m desperate for a break, but when I get one I feel awful for not having my own child with me.

Does anyone else feel like this? The mum guilt is hitting hard today 💔

Screen time

My 4 month old loves to sit in his swing and watch tv. Mostly miss Rachel, curious George, or honestly what ever it is that I have playing (Dawsons creek lately). It gives me an opportunity to wash bottles or clean up while he’s occupied and I try to keep it at 20 minutes increments but sometimes I do feel bad for allowing it. At the end of the day as mothers I know we all do what works, but what keeps your infants entertained?

How do I approach this?

I am at a loss at how to address this problem with my partner without it turning into an argument between the both of us. We are a blended family. I co-parent with my ex-partner and he does with his ex-partner. My eldest 3 from my past relationship live with him and I. And we had a child together. The eldest 3 visit their biological father during the school holidays, so we get a week when it is just my partner, the youngest child and myself. My partner is always calm and relaxed when it is just the 3 of us but when the eldest 3 return, he becomes stressed out, prone to yelling constantly in frustration, telling them all off for minor things, like being slightly too loud and it’s becoming a mental drain for me as I have to pick-up the pieces and calm the kids down due to dysregulation. I had started noticing patterns of him treating ‘our’ child differently compared to the eldest 3 children when the youngest was born. It is something my family have pointed out many times as well. He insists that he loves them all equally but I just don’t see that as he keeps saying he wants to try for another child because he wants a daughter. One of the 4 kids is a girl, so technically, he does have one.

Would this irritate you?

My MIL came round for dinner last night. I was finishing off cooking and had prepared a plate for my toddler, to eat at the same time as us.
My son was completely fine, playing in the living room. My MIL came into the kitchen, said that my son is hungry, took the food, put him in his high chair and started feeding him. It was done in a cold way rather than asking if we'd like her to help or to start feeding him.

Comment from my partner

Am I being overly sensitive here?

I gave birth a week ago. I was just sitting on the sofa and asked me partner to take a photo of me with the baby, and smiled when he was taking the picture. As he took it he said "why are you making that face?" and laughed.

I immediately felt crushed and really upset and self conscious. I'm already a bit awkward and self conscious about my smile and now I feel like I must just look weird. Every time I try to take a photo smiling with my baby I feel like I'm going to be even more conscious of whether my face looks funny. He aaw I was crying and said sorry and he was only joking, but then said maybe he'd said it because he was frustrated that he wanted to go for a shower and felt like I was keeping him because I hadnt had breakfast yet (I'd told him to go for a shower several times, but he'd said he'd wait until I'd had breakfast and he'd hold the baby, which I hadnt done yet). I know it sounds silly and small, but after he said that it feels almost more like a spiteful comment rather than a joke. I feel so vulnerable right now just a week after giving birth and while trying to navigate having two under 2.5 and it just crushed me a little. I told him to just go and have his shower and now I'm just sitting here crying with the baby and feeling hideous.

hm

Trending