Comment from my partner
Am I being overly sensitive here?
I gave birth a week ago. I was just sitting on the sofa and asked me partner to take a photo of me with the baby, and smiled when he was taking the picture. As he took it he said "why are you making that face?" and laughed.
I immediately felt crushed and really upset and self conscious. I'm already a bit awkward and self conscious about my smile and now I feel like I must just look weird. Every time I try to take a photo smiling with my baby I feel like I'm going to be even more conscious of whether my face looks funny. He aaw I was crying and said sorry and he was only joking, but then said maybe he'd said it because he was frustrated that he wanted to go for a shower and felt like I was keeping him because I hadnt had breakfast yet (I'd told him to go for a shower several times, but he'd said he'd wait until I'd had breakfast and he'd hold the baby, which I hadnt done yet). I know it sounds silly and small, but after he said that it feels almost more like a spiteful comment rather than a joke. I feel so vulnerable right now just a week after giving birth and while trying to navigate having two under 2.5 and it just crushed me a little. I told him to just go and have his shower and now I'm just sitting here crying with the baby and feeling hideous.
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Daycare
Has anyone sent their baby to daycare?! If so tell me good stories as it’s almost that time for me to send my baby to child care!
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Am I wrong?
I genuinely want to hear other people’s perspectives because I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I have primary custody of my two children, ages 2 and 3. Their father has visitation every third weekend. Our divorce decree, which he agreed to, states that if he moves outside the designated area, he loses overnight visitation.
Knowing this, he voluntarily chose to move over an hour away to live with a girlfriend and her children. At the time, he’d known her for approximately TWO WEEKS.
Because of that decision, his visitation changed to Saturdays, 9 a.m.–6 p.m., every third weekend. No overnights.
Despite this, I’ve tried accommodating him with additional time, hotels, and Airbnbs. But it’s not working. The children have fun with him, but they come home extremely dysregulated. Hitting, fighting, tantrums, sleep issues, etc. It lasts for DAYS, and I’ve documented a consistent pattern.
I don’t believe he’s intentionally doing anything wrong during visits. I believe the instability and transitions are difficult for two toddlers.
Recently, they got sick after visiting him. Obviously, sickness happens. But it brought up an even bigger frustration. Who handles the appointments, sleepless nights, medications, and everything else? Me and my fiancé. Their dad gets to return to the life he chose while I’m responsible for everything that comes afterward.
I ended up reaching out to his girlfriend. Not my smartest move, I know. But I genuinely couldn’t believe another mother would support a man voluntarily reducing his time with his own children to live with her.
Turns out, she knows and fully supports his decision.
They’ve been together around four months, and she’s already referring to parenting my children as “we,” “us,” and “team,” talking about how much they love the girls despite never having met them. Her responses also sounded completely AI-generated.
Ultimately, they’re both comfortable with him being a weekend parent. He considers himself a present, involved father and doesn’t believe he’s done anything wrong.
When I asked about accountability for voluntarily choosing less time with his children, their response was essentially, “The choice was made. How do we move forward?”
But why am I expected to accommodate a decision that HE made at the expense of his relationship with his children?
I understand some parents have limited visitation due to circumstances outside their control. But this wasn’t one of those situations. He had the opportunity to be more involved and willingly chose less.
And now I’m expected to make his life easier, deal with the emotional aftermath of his visits, and support their plans to eventually become a blended family.
Am I wrong for thinking that being a good dad requires more than exercising the bare minimum visitation? Because I genuinely believe my children deserve better than a father who’s content seeing them twice a month when he could have chosen differently.
I really want unbiased perspectives. Am I expecting too much, or has the bar for being a present parent gotten this low?
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Am I wrong?
My husband the past 2 days has come home from work after being gone all day and as soon as he comes in the door says he’s going upstairs to work on his leg that has been tight and aching. And left me to get the kids dinner, and do their whole bed time routine alone because it’s taken that long for him to do his stuff. When I had a problem with it he acted like I’m the bad guy because “he’s been gone all day and not had a minute to himself”. Am I wrong for being upset???
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Toddler sucking thumb
Pleaseeee be honest because I’ve heard so many contradictions, does sucking thumb mess up toddlers teeth in future? If yes, how do I stop him doing it!?
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Feeling pretty down tonight
I am 36 and about to have my 3rd baby. The father and I didn't work out. I'm feeling pretty down about that tonight & idk how to lift myself up from it. I am almost 40 and have never had anyone actually choose me and love me and at this point I dont think I will ever feel that. Each of my kids have different fathers, the first isnt involved at all, the second is sporadically involved, and the third hasn't been there for me throughout this entire pregnancy. He's been around sure, but its only for the baby. He never actually chose to care about me. I'm just tired. Tired of always being dismissed or walked away from. Tired of having to spend this life fighting and surviving. Tired of not having anyone to turn to for support. I have no friends and hardly any family. I just feel so alone. & idk who is going to want me after having three children with three different fathers, plus having a newborn at 36 years old. . I just want it to end already.
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First birthday
Has anyone started thinking about what they’re doing for their little ones first birthday? We were going to do a party but because I’ll have only just gone back to work we just can’t really afford it. Obviously we want to do something special. We live in Staffordshire if anyone has any ideas!
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