15 months and twiddling

Hey I need some advice!! I have been EBF my little one who is now 15 months and I've loved every minute of it but the last few weeks have been TOUGH! she only feeds for one nap in the day and bedtime /during the night. The twiddling started and I do everything to stop her, moving her hand away, holding her hand, giving her something else to hold, telling her no it hurts mummy and stopping the feed... all of these just leads to tantrums and her fighting sleep even more.

The twiddling immediately sends my skin crawling and I get so agitated. In starting to dread nap times and bedtime. Once she finally goes to bed I am stressed for the rest of the evening, not even wanting to talk to my partner which I feel guilty for.

I don't feel as though she is ready to wean as she is so used to feeding to sleep.. I personally am not ready to wean as I'm not prepared for the harder nights when I already feel this stressed out.

I know they say bf uas it's hurdles, so far my journey has been smooth sailing so maybe it's me not coping well with the first proper hurdle. She refuses a bottle when she's tired it has to be me. Sometimes I have to just push my hand so hard against my other boob so she can't reach the nipple to twiddle...

What do I do? How can I not feel so agitated as I feel so guilty☹️

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