Socially awkward but NEED friends

I’m so bad at maintaining friendships because I just assume people are annoyed by my existence so I rarely initiate conversations or plans. Can a social butterfly please adopt me lol

in our community

Mixed feelings

Hi, I guess I just need a place to vent and someone to listen.

My daughter is about to turn 1, and I am feeling a whole bunch of different emotions. I feel regret because for most of her first year, I was sad most of the time because I was dealing with so much loss, suffering and pain in my own life that I feel I missed out on being fully present. At the same time, I know I did the best that I could while also carrying so much alone. I have been alone during my pregnancy and motherhood. Lots of people say they are alone too, but always have a best friend or a mother present. I have been alone, entirely, on my own, without 1 person. My family traumatised me, my friends betrayed me, and I was left to deal with pregnancy, birth, and motherhood alone. I love my daughter with every fibre of my being but somehow still struggle with being patient, kind and loving at times. A part of me is resentful because I sometimes wish I never had a child, but I know that is only because I am doing it alone. If I had people around me, if I had support, if I had love, if I had someone pouring into me the way I constantly pour into her, I feel I would be a much more grateful and joyful mother. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a bad mother and I don’t treat her badly. I just lose my temper sometimes, or don’t have the patience to slow down sometimes. I feel so much guilt and sadness when these moments or sometimes days happen. Sometimes I treat her like I don’t want her around, but that isn’t true: it’s me who is carrying pain and who is hurt about where my life is. She deserves pure love and nothing less. I am just so tired of life. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of not having support or love in my life. I’m tired of living in a tiny studio apartment and feeling like I’m not a good enough mother for not being able to provide a bigger home for her. I’m tired of struggling financially. I’m tired of trying to meet new people and then always ending up not being able to connect with them because of toxic or unhealthy behaviour that I refuse to tolerate. I’m tired of life feeling like an uphill battle. I’m tired of feeling like I am of less value because I have a child and cannot do the things that I want to do. I’m tired of feeling like God has left and forgotten me. I don’t want to be here anymore, and yet I can’t give up on my daughter because I’m all she has and I refuse to abandon her the way I was abandoned by mine. I’m just so tired.

Thank you for listening.

The Wonder Weeks

Is the app worth paying for? Please share your thoughts & experience with the app.

Huckleberry app

Does anyone use the Huckleberry app? I’d heard about it in some groups but I didn’t want to get obsessed with tracking and thought it would take too much time etc though when little one was born I did have to track all nappies for the first few weeks.

Anyway for various reasons I need to track feeds and nappies etc and I’m really surprised at how much I am feeding! I spent 6 hours breastfeeding. 6 hours!

The C word 🎄

I know we are in the depths of post partum but has anyone had thoughts on Christmas presents? We are keeping it low key because LO has zero idea what is going on but I wanted to still get something for his first Christmas. He is a second child so a lot of your standard baby toys we have but has anyone else got some ideas 🎄

Anyone else not feeling like being intimate?

I'm 6 weeks PP and I have no desire to be intimate. I tried to explain to my husband that my body hasn't been mine for almost a year now with growing a human. Not to mention giving birth, recovering and bleeding off and on for 6 weeks, and to top it off I'm exclusively pumping so I feel like a cow 4 hours of the day. All he heard was "so don't touch you. Great."
Anyone else feel this way right now?

So everyone is a witch now a days huh? 🤥🤨 lol

Has anyone else noticed more women being “witchy” once the season hits? It’s not a trend, it’s a lifestyle and a belief for many who practice. 💚💜