Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Trust.

I’ve got a dilemma. I’m struggling with an issue I’ve had for a while well ever since we met 5 years ago (we have a child) . My partner acts quite secretive like for instance I don’t know the passcode to his phone
(never have) , if I ask to look at a photo he’s taken he sends me it rather than hand me his phone to look, he has a PIN number on his YouTube acc, his laptop and his PlayStation oh and also he wouldn’t download life360 as he felt I was checking up on him… I’m not overly jealous but don’t like it when he adds random female work colleagues he’s just met on his FB and insta as I see that as a sign of disrespect and just unnecessary.

I tried to talk to him about it but he just gaslights me. He sees nothing wrong in his ways and says it’s all in my head and I’m just insecure.
I just want to feel like he’s being open and honest and got nothing to hide. We have a great life together and I don’t want to spoil that but if he doesn’t change and become more open about this stuff then I don’t think I will be happy in this relationship… is this all in my head? Or is his behaviour odd?

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I don't think it's odd to have a level of privacy in your life or wanting to have some at all I think wanting access to all those things and his location is an insecurity on your part

I feel like everyone is different. In my relationship we always have had life 360 and each other's phone pin and passwords. Some people are unhappy with that level of openness. The thing is it's a compatibility thing. You have to find someone who matches you in what you want shared. No one is necessarily in the wrong here, it just sounds like it isn't a good fit.

I think that is terrible. I know every relationship is different but my husband and me have full access to eachothers phones and all our accounts like Xbox youtube discord...literally everything is shared since we were 18. I believe if your hiding something from your partner then you know you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. I hope you guys can talk through this and figure it out but it dont look good js

That sounds like a walking red flag. All of it. I understand wanting privacy. But TRANSPARENCY is essential in a lasting marriage and relationship. You shouldn’t be discovering random things and gaslit into believing you are insecure

Trust your gut. If he's being shady, he's avoiding being accountable for something he shouldn't be doing. I've been there and it takes a lot of compromise from both parties to get to a point where you are both happy. Shrinking your needs to accommodate his comfort will not get better over time, it'll just cause resentment. You both need to have a conversation about what is respectful and acceptable in your relationship. He needs to understand that your feelings are valid, even if they are an insecurity on your part. He needs to be able to help you feel secure and meet you where you're at. In return you probably need to spice things up so that he has no excuse to look elsewhere. Relationships are give and take. I've been with my husband for almost 16 years, married for almost 12 years. You have to be able to bend & change together. We almost separated because there was no trust at one point but it is salvageable as long as you're both willing to put work in and not expect perfect instantaneously. Stay strong!

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People with children just don’t get it😡

I have a gbf he’s nice we enjoy going out together but when I bring my toddler I feel as if he’s a burden, yes toddlers play up sometimes, get tired, ratty but he dosent have children and finds him exhausting and makes comments like “so glad I don’t have children” “couldn’t deal with that” etc. he never sees the true side of my little boy he hardly ever sees him but it’s really upset me should I take this so personal or jus brush it off.

Is this fair?

I’ve been with my partner for 7 years, and he’s a mechanic who manages his garage. He’s always handled my car—MOTs, servicing, repairs—just like he does for his mum, dad, and friends.

Recently, he told me he feels I don’t respect him or do enough for him (not sure why but anyway)🙄 because of that, he won’t work on my car anymore. My car just failed its MOT and needs two tyres and a shock, so it’s going to be expensive but that’s not really the issue.

What’s upsetting is that he’s refusing to help me at all and says I now have to go through the garage and pay full prices like any other customer. At the same time, he still goes out of his way to help family and friends, even when they’ve treated him poorly in the past.

It just feels hurtful, like he’s punishing me😓 is this fair? I don’t know where he’s getting that I don’t do anything for him, I constantly clean, cook, wash, work, school run/pick up, be with our child while he swans off after work🙄

Is it fair to wait or am i being selfish?

Maybe this is just my mom guilt popping up, but i put together a play kitchen for my 1 year old. Its designed to make real mud pies and so i was going to put it in one of our garden beds that diddnt take so he can play in the dirt hes ver interested in right now.

Heres the issue. That thing made putting IKEA furniture look like a breeze. It literally took my an entire week and many tears. I even had to go get a new kind of screwdriver, and im fantastic at putting together stuff like this. Because it took so long, its now my one break day per week. The next day i tutor and wont be home till dinner. My husband is a sahd so really he could pull the kitchen out now and introduce him to the play kitchen right now, but i feel like im being selfish for wanting to wait the 2 days till i can introduce it myself.
My son has been watching me put it together and besides "helping" me put it together when he would hold my screwdriver he doesnt know what it is.

Am i being selfish or crazy?

Do you have a joint account for bills & shopping?

My husband and i bought our house in 2020 and without a discussion put the mortgage and bills in his name. I wasn't happy but it was done. I have to send him money every month after he tells me how much the bills came up to. Shopping we take turns to pay which isn't fair as one week might be more than others. Also, I do odd shops and buy the essentials for my newborn. This is causing a lot of arguments so my mum intervened and suggested having a joint account to make it fair.
He's now backtracking saying I have to make more effort with him, having date nights and not hide behind my children (ages 3 and 9 weeks). This is what's important to him. Is this fair?

Safest first foods?

I have really bad PTSD & Anxiety surrounding BLW. My 8mo is ready but I'm not. I don't want to hold her back.
I watched her have CPR twice while she waited for open heart surgery and the trauma of her 4 month fight from birth has me in a chokehold.

I know bigger foods are safer, easily squished between fingers ect

But what about things like tuna mayo? Mashed up flakes?

Salmon? (Am I not right that fish is a possible allergy caution food?)

I know broccoli and Carrot, sweet potatoe ect but is there anything else

What is the majority census of least likely choking food?

She's managed baby melty puffs, baby wafers, baby biscotti all fine...

(I only gave her these things because they say they melt in the mouth)

> I have health visitor coming out in 2 weeks to LITERALLY hold my hand and be present while I make my 8mo her first proper BLW meal of finger foods

> I am booking a baby and child first aid course with st johns ambulance for the 9th May

Weaning

I’ve started weaning my baby she’s 6 months and 2 weeks and since I’ve tried her on food she’s been off her bottles and throwing most things up and most of her bottles and she was settled before. I’ve barely given her any food just spoonfuls to try.. is this normal or something I would need to see the GP for?