Most people won't get this but I struggle because I've only ever dated men before but married a woman.

We have a 3 year old who I gave birth to just fyi on explaining ourselves to people

grass is always greener... i have seen so many women in heterosexual relationships who were looked after financially, until they weren't, and betrayed. not to say there aren't lots of happy traditional marriages too, but just being married to a man doesn't guarantee that. even in my case (bi woman married to a man so seemingly less to 'explain'), i make more and he's going to be taking a career break with the baby. we are already having to explain to people all. the. time.

it's normal to sometimes dwell on what would or could be easier if your partner were someone else. whilst you're pinning it on men vs women, i think even if you'd married a forward and breadwinning man, there would be other things you'd be missing instead. it happens to everyone. try to remember why you chose her, what you'd lose if you weren't with her (as a woman but also just as a person), and see if you can find more time to do things where you really get to enjoy those parts that matter to you so much. that always helps me!

Im bi in a heterosexual relationship. Honestly we are both equals. He used to feel this pressure to provide and earn lots of money and well he had a mental breakdown. I make it clear we are equal and he is not obligated to look after me.

Maybe just talk to her. The main reason empty relationships fail is because couples dont talk. There is probably a few compromises on both ends