Does anyone know anything about this or can offer advice?

So my partner and I really don’t know where we stand in terms of this situation. We have been together for 7-8 years now, very stable relationship, a house, child together, consistency basically.

He has 2 children from previous relationship, and BM has a very erratic lifestyle involving relationships and men etc. She will on average have a new ‘boyfriend’ every 6-12 or so months, maybe on and off with some, will move them into the home around the kids, even after just a few weeks. We feel it’s damaging for the kids to see this, so many different men with their mum and her being irresponsible with who they find her in bed with and lives in the house with them.

We are supposed to have them with us every other weekend, but contact can be, and has been more so lately, very inconsistent. BM picks and chooses when she allows contact and withholds due to the slightest inconvenience or if she gets pissed off about something.
Due to all of this we are currently going through the courts but have expressed our concerns of BM and her lifestyle and that we feel it’s in the kids best interest for us to have custody majority of the time.

The weird thing is our attempts keep getting rejected, they keep coming back to us saying we would likely get nothing more than what we currently have (every other weekend) and we just can’t understand why even with all our evidence of the damage we feel BM is doing to them.

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Unfortunately I have seen first hand how the courts always side with the mother and unless something actually happens, nothing will be done. Which is sad really as the kids will clearly be affected by BM behaviour. I couldn’t even imagine how your partner feels knowing there’s different men around his kids, not knowing who they are or what their intentions are. How old are his children and have they voiced their opinions on this situation? It may work in your favour if the children are of an age where their voice matters and are also uncomfortable with their situation at their mums. Hope it all works out for you all in the end x

I don't know if this helps, but i hope it does.. courts will reject cases if your case is just slating/criticising the other parent.. what they want to see is attempts of resolution for example in a very factual way. If your made attempts to rectify the situation yourself or shes agreed to things and then gone back on it, make sure you include all of that. Take all of the emotion out of your request and keep it factual being sure not to use terms like 'we think shes an unfit mother" more "despite our efforts to resolve this amicably, the concerns are still there due to xyz" mention things she has done right too "for a period between august and October the agreed visitation plan for the children was followed. From October to date, visits have been inconsistent and cancelled for the following reasons" include dates and evidence. The courts want to know you are level headed and reasonable. Remember in all of this its never about what you think or want, its about whats best for the children. Xx

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