controlling relationship?

I know my biggest red flag is isolation as control. But by doing it like “oh I don’t like her” or “oh she just puts you down” about like a best friend

Red flags are he tries to isolate you, he puts you down so you feel bad about yourself and don't think you can get any better than him, he gaslights you and says man things or threatens you and then says he never said that or that you're to sensitive or that he didn't mean it, he doesn't let you spend time with friends and family, he controls all the number and makes sure you never have money because you may save it to get away from him, he is disrespectful to you and expects you to always be respectful to him even though he isn't respectful to you, he gets mad when you go out, accused you of cheating when you're not, he invalidates you're feelings and says oh you dont feel that way, or tries to make you feel crazy for having feelings, or acts like you're making a big deal when you tell him how you feel. The more things he dies that I listed, the worse he is.

He controls all the money, not number, typo.

Oh and never takes accountability for his actions maybe occasionally but not most of the time.

He forces you to have sex when you don't want it and makes you feel bad and puts you down about it or threatens to cheat if you don't have sex with him.

And any is the stuff listed above under coercive control

They are sneaky and make it look like they are protecting you or that what they did wasnt that bad or say they will change but don't. I sincerely hope your partner doesn't do these things.

Sorry so much info but I have a narcissist in my family and married a guy with some sociopathic tendencies so I know a lot about this subject. Thank goodness I have been divorced from him for 10 years and he has left me alone after I refused to give him money. He dared to say give me money for my phone bill or your kid doesn't have a dad. Well I wouldn't want someone like him around my kid anyway.

oh wow😔that’s upsetting, he is disrespectful to me but expects it back, he does make me feel like my feelings don’t matter more than his or like i’m making a big deal, he rarely takes accountability for his actions and he has kind of coerced me into having sex before by threatening to cheat if i don’t😕it’s weird because .. i love him? i can’t imagine a life without him? we’ve been together years had children together with a man like this how can things ever get better, how is it that it’s only now i see it, how is it that only recently im questioning if the things he does are right?🙁

All the above…it’s not called being controlling. It’s called being narcissistic and it IS a disorder, and one that will never be fixed or cured so the best thing you can do is run.