Feeling deflated

My partner is self employed so sets his own working hours but I feel he is being difficult with his flexibility
When I was supposed to go back to work last year October after agreeing to everything (me working 2 hours in the evening so he helps out toddlers eat dinner then play with them until I’m done and I can put them to bed) it comes to my first keeping in touch day and after asking him to help them eat dinner he takes himself upstairs leaving me to try and work and help them eat, the type of job I had, had very strict targets and I wasn’t allowed background noise

So I bought it up later on that day and he basically said if I want do go back I need to figure out where they’re going to go but also if I don’t want to go back then I need to figure out how I’m going to pay my share of the bills

For context we do not trust nursery’s or day care and in theory he doesn’t want them to go also both my kids are under 3 so would be too expensive for us anyways

Now I’m in a situation where the only work I can do is remote flexible evening roles which as you can imagine r hard to come by as sometimes he isn’t home by bed time so obvs I couldn’t leave to go to an actual job

I feel a bit stuck as he is unwilling to watch them for a set period of time consistently which I think isn’t asking too much as their dad

At the moment I do do some admin work for my parents business and they pay me I also sell on Vinted but this is only enough for food so I’m very behind on bills
We have applied for UC but our application got cancelled with little explanation, we have applied again so waiting to see if we get anything

I feel like if I was able to get an evening job it would make our financial situation better but I can’t rely on him to be home to watch our toddlers 😞

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He sucks. He basically won’t allow you to work since he won’t be a parent and take care of his kids and still has the audacity to want you to pay half the bill. My husband is self employed and if I need him to watch the kids or pick up from school he does it. You need marriage counseling and hopefully the therapist gives him a kick in the ass or you need to set up your life without him. He clearly doesn’t want to be a partner he wants you do everything in the family.

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Old people are fucking rude and nasty

I'm deep in the toddler trenches. You ladies know how it is (unless you have an angel toddler, in which case what's it like living your best life?)

My toddler had a screaming fit in the supermarket today. She was overtired, I had no choice as I had to pick something up before going home. I'm already in fight or flight and obviously having a hard time. Tell me why it is exclusively only over 65s that are giving me the stank evil eyes and shaking their heads tutting (yes I actually got a tutting) as if I'm not already on the verge of breakdown myself?

Mind your own fucking business please. It's not my fault you are miserable and on the verge of death.

I've found on the whole most people who are younger extremely kind, minding their own business or giving me a kind smile, or allowing me to go ahead of them in the queue. It's only ever old fuckers who decide it's their god given right to judge me and make me feel worse

Respect your elders? They are the rudest, nastiest generation by a far mile.

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Would this pee you off???

I was shopping with my 7 month old and this girl who was about 4 years old came up to me and started asking me questions about my baby. The girl then started touching my baby's face and her legs before I had to politely tell her to stop. Meanwhile the girl's mum is just standing there next to her the whole time and doesn't bother saying anything to her and just lets her do it.

Children that age don't always understand boundaries but the fact that mum let her randomly touch my child really peed me off. I was really cross at the mum. Is it just me or should the mum have said something?

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Daycare Owner Kissed My Toddler on the Cheek

I was so in shock when it happened that I froze and didn't say anything. On the way home, I thought in our culture, we're family oriented and she seemed like she wanted it to be known we're family but we can do that without you putting your lips on my child, no??? But I think if I speak up, it can create ill feelings and I'll no longer trust my child being there all because she didn't like that I said something (something similar happened with my MIL after speaking up about her kissing my baby on the lips) - especially after I didn't say anything about it before. Ugh what to do..... I really need the break but this is why I didn't want to take the childcare route to begin with.

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Can’t stand other people holding MY baby

Guys, is it just me or is it really hard watching other people holding the baby (family aside, most of the time)? I can’t stand it and have to leave the room when the grandparents/in-laws hold him. Otherwise when people ask to hold him, I’ve just said no, which obviously rubs people up the wrong way and then get comments like “you can put him down you Know” 🤬

My baby is 5 weeks old so still in my newborn bubble. I’m deliberately holding off visits because everyone only cares about the baby 😅 and is just desperate to hold him but I don’t want their hands on him. I resent the idea of playing “pass the parcel” with my baby, I worked so hard to get him here safely and he just seems to be a real novelty for family, friends, neighbours, random people I see dog walking…
Am I being weird? My mothering instinct is just so protective and I want him all to myself (&my husband).

P.S. I’m not inviting visitors round atm, this is just family, close friends. My husband invited two colleagues because he loves to show the baby off but I said enough is enough. Also, annoyed with people trying to invite themselves round even after me saying we’re not doing visitors atm.

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2 girls, husband is driving me insane lol

I honestly am so touched out from my own husband interjecting himself. Our 5 almost 6 year old girl was crying because I had to wet her hair to brush it to take her to the store for a few household items.. she's crying & being hard.. because I'm the mother. Period. Idk how else to explain that. It's girl on girl.

Our younger who is 2 was screaming crying at 11am & had been teething it seems today. I give her Tylenol after breakfast (8:30am) bc she didn't really eat then ate great.

Needless my husband is in the bathroom for 1+ hour & comes downstairs to find me changing our toddler & I said "Oh my lord you've been a jerk all day dude. I love you so much but jesus" he took her immediately from me & laid her down before I had a chance to button her clothes.

He comes back downstairs & I'm now brushing our almost 6 year old daughter's hair. She's crying. It's been a rough morning where her sister has cried often. It happens! 🤣 idk what to say on that. But I feel you'll get what I'm saying. Keep in mind he didn't get out of bed until 10am.

He hears her crying and it's something that has always triggered him with me. He immediately goes off the railing screaming at me "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOURE HURTING HER!" & now I'm bullshit. To be frank.

Our kids are girls. Girls are going to whine and cry more.. but I'm also the female & I love them to no end but they are also female & clearly being hard on me right now.

I try & have a mature conversation with my husband who says "we are done" as he always does the moment he hears one of them having a tantrum & I'm the one dealing with it.

Honestly at this point I am done. It just sucks. It sucks the life out of me that God forbid once a week the kids are both running off eachother energy.. it's raining.. can't go outside.. I can list a laundry list of reasons why kids cry. I'm honestly like.. he's a POS. he can't handle the drama/ tantrums.

& in his eyes somehow they are beautiful perfect girls who didn't deserve me being hard back to them.. okay no. Full send no. My grandma & mom both had to be hard on me & that's my dad's mom.

I get that dad's can be fun ones.. but what the actual f.

Am I alone here? Has anyone gone through this where your relationship is deteriorating only because your husband can't handle the kids being bad? I need to know. I need support. I just vented to my mom about it & I know if I called my MIL she would ream my husband out for how he treated me but I'm so exhausted.

I work fulltime, I manage the sick days, sports, we are a team on household things. But it's just the kids. It's like.. if they are good great! If they are whining & upset & they are with me without him around to see why.. he flips out!!! Wtf do I do?

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??

Is it bad that I prefer when my partner is at work? Everything just seems to run so much smoother and seems much easier

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