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Baby Daddy Drama

Feeling deflated

My partner is self employed so sets his own working hours but I feel he is being difficult with his flexibility
When I was supposed to go back to work last year October after agreeing to everything (me working 2 hours in the evening so he helps out toddlers eat dinner then play with them until I’m done and I can put them to bed) it comes to my first keeping in touch day and after asking him to help them eat dinner he takes himself upstairs leaving me to try and work and help them eat, the type of job I had, had very strict targets and I wasn’t allowed background noise

So I bought it up later on that day and he basically said if I want do go back I need to figure out where they’re going to go but also if I don’t want to go back then I need to figure out how I’m going to pay my share of the bills

For context we do not trust nursery’s or day care and in theory he doesn’t want them to go also both my kids are under 3 so would be too expensive for us anyways

Now I’m in a situation where the only work I can do is remote flexible evening roles which as you can imagine r hard to come by as sometimes he isn’t home by bed time so obvs I couldn’t leave to go to an actual job

I feel a bit stuck as he is unwilling to watch them for a set period of time consistently which I think isn’t asking too much as their dad

At the moment I do do some admin work for my parents business and they pay me I also sell on Vinted but this is only enough for food so I’m very behind on bills
We have applied for UC but our application got cancelled with little explanation, we have applied again so waiting to see if we get anything

I feel like if I was able to get an evening job it would make our financial situation better but I can’t rely on him to be home to watch our toddlers 😞