Unfairness

Alright bear with me ladies.
Ive always been used to unfair treatment of kids. When I was young I was on the unfairly treated side. My mom tried her best to mitigate it but couldn't quite cover it up.

Now come to present time. My kids definitely get treated unfairly by my family (15 year old son and 12 year old daughter, both are not mine biologically and I think this is why). I also have a 16 year old brother who is on the other side of my kids. Hes the kid that my mother and older sister absolutely dote on (I dont hold this against him).

Heres the actual dilemma.
I was asked/told that (brother 16) wants a very expensive gift ($475) for his birthday and I should get him that.
I want to get it cause I do believe that he would benefit from having it and that its a very useful gift. However, last month (daughter) got maybe $25 bucks in random trinkets for her birthday from (Gma & Sister). I also know for (son's) birthday in Aug. they are planning on buying him 1 or 2 horror books as his gifts.

Now where im stuck is how do I very politely point out that if I get this gift for (brother) that my kids are owed a bit more for their birthdays from them.
Or how do I politely decline getting the gift due to my kids not getting the equivalent?

If I need to clarify more things ill gladly do that. Also here is my pup cause why not.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

Decline it. If they want to give home the expensive gift that’s on them but part of this for you is knowing that they aren’t doing things fairly or atleast in your eyes and maybe your kids. Until their behavior changed towards my kids I wouldn’t even remotely think of getting something expensive. But I’m also in an out of sight out of mind kinda family for presents.

Avatar

I just wouldn’t get it and not say anything. I don’t feel like you need an explanation for not getting a gift that is unreasonable in price, especially when the thought process of gifting your children is not equivalent

Avatar

That's a great idea! I can't do the whole thing this year but I'm happy to give you $25 towards getting it for him! Maybe the other siblings can join in and make it a joint gift from all of us! Thanks for coordinating getting him this amazing gift! I'm sure he will love it!

Avatar

I would say something along the lines of "I had x amount in mind for a gift, happy to contribute that and if questioned explain based on what kids have been getting in the family recently, you thought that is a reasonable amount to put aside.

I totally get the part where you want to support brother and I love that, but it should be on his parents to ensure he gets what he needs for his hobbies/development within their means.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Trying this again 🥹

Looking for a bestie in Texas, but honestly can be long distance. It's just my daughter and I most of the time so we get pretty bored and tbh lonely 😅. We like books, movies, the park, and playing in the water.

Avatar

3

8

Baby daddy help

Me and my partner have been together for nearly four years - we fell pregnant accidentally last July and our baby girl arrived nearly three weeks ago - a week before my induction I found out that him and his family we’re secretly planning a DNA test on my daughter behind my back … I also found out he was sending dirty sexy reels to other girls … I lost my mind and am so hurt I don’t know if I can continue- I stayed at my mums for two nights and I feel nothing is going to change - he’s said he wants this to work and still loves me and I do still love him his parents are also assholes to say the least he is the golden child but don’t know how to get over this and move forward any advice

Avatar

1

5

Alone

Anyone else just completely overwhelmed at times? My little girls is almost 11 weeks and she is always attached to me, second I try to put her down she has a meltdown. I breastfeed and formula feed too since I unfortunately don't produce enough, oh and I pump! I feel I am always stuck in the house or when I do manage to go out.. it's never for long at all if it is just us as I get nervous if she has a meltdown.
My partner works away Mon-Fri so the weekdays become very lonely and isolating..

Avatar

5

Sex?? Advice please!

For context, I'm almost 14-weeks pregnant with our first baby.

I've never felt grosser, my clothes don't fit so I'm living in my pyjamas, & leggings and oversized t-shirts when I have to leave the house. I'm exhausted all the time, my bump isn't bumping quite yet so just looks like I've eaten a really decent meal, & I suffer with acid reflux really badly at night.

My husband wants to have sex, almost every night. I feel awful because before pregnancy, I couldn't keep my hands off him - we just got married last year. He understands when I say no, but there's always a nagging guilty feeling.

It's not that I don't *want* to - my sex drive is through the roof - I just don't feel sexy anymore!

Am I alone, or is this normal?

Avatar

1

5

Mum friends expectation

Is it just me or did you have an expectation that you would meet a group of mum friends when you went to classes etc? I haven’t found this to be the case, it can be quite clique-y or people don’t really talk? Hoping this isn’t just me who feels disappointed!

Avatar

3

Missed pill

I am on the mini pill, a few weeks ago I missed taking it the Thursday and Friday as I had lost it🫣 and then when found again I took it the Saturday but had unprotected sex that day, has anyone fallen pregnant this soon from not taking the pill is it even possible? I have a one year old already and have started feeling similar signs to when I did with them but haven’t tested yet as I don’t know if it’s all in my head

Avatar

2

11

Read more on Peanut