Alright bear with me ladies.
Ive always been used to unfair treatment of kids. When I was young I was on the unfairly treated side. My mom tried her best to mitigate it but couldn't quite cover it up.
Now come to present time. My kids definitely get treated unfairly by my family (15 year old son and 12 year old daughter, both are not mine biologically and I think this is why). I also have a 16 year old brother who is on the other side of my kids. Hes the kid that my mother and older sister absolutely dote on (I dont hold this against him).
Heres the actual dilemma.
I was asked/told that (brother 16) wants a very expensive gift ($475) for his birthday and I should get him that.
I want to get it cause I do believe that he would benefit from having it and that its a very useful gift. However, last month (daughter) got maybe $25 bucks in random trinkets for her birthday from (Gma & Sister). I also know for (son's) birthday in Aug. they are planning on buying him 1 or 2 horror books as his gifts.
Now where im stuck is how do I very politely point out that if I get this gift for (brother) that my kids are owed a bit more for their birthdays from them.
Or how do I politely decline getting the gift due to my kids not getting the equivalent?
If I need to clarify more things ill gladly do that. Also here is my pup cause why not.
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Decline it. If they want to give home the expensive gift that’s on them but part of this for you is knowing that they aren’t doing things fairly or atleast in your eyes and maybe your kids. Until their behavior changed towards my kids I wouldn’t even remotely think of getting something expensive. But I’m also in an out of sight out of mind kinda family for presents.

I just wouldn’t get it and not say anything. I don’t feel like you need an explanation for not getting a gift that is unreasonable in price, especially when the thought process of gifting your children is not equivalent

That's a great idea! I can't do the whole thing this year but I'm happy to give you $25 towards getting it for him! Maybe the other siblings can join in and make it a joint gift from all of us! Thanks for coordinating getting him this amazing gift! I'm sure he will love it!

I would say something along the lines of "I had x amount in mind for a gift, happy to contribute that and if questioned explain based on what kids have been getting in the family recently, you thought that is a reasonable amount to put aside.
I totally get the part where you want to support brother and I love that, but it should be on his parents to ensure he gets what he needs for his hobbies/development within their means.