Baby daddy help

I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, this is a time when you’re very vulnerable which madness his behaviour even more difficult for you.

It sounds like he lacks emotional maturity, and he’s not working with you as a team. How old is he?

I would say you don’t need to make a decision right now, focus on having some lovely time with your new baby and keep him at arms length, telling him that you guys can talk about it when you’re ready and things have settled down a bit.

You’ve got a bit of headspace to think about it. If he kicks off and doesn’t respect your request for space or goes and plays around then you know you have the red flag. He is respectful of your request and still maintains integrity as a father than perhaps he has matured through the experience and then when you’re ready, we can talk about what you expect from him and boundaries?

I hope this helps x

this sounds like a really tough position to be in and i’m sorry that him and your in laws have ruined the most special moment of your life. all i will say is that it will be very hard for you to rebuild trust with your partner- once they do something like that it lingers in the back of your mind forever and you just live on edge which is such a horrible feeling.

having said that, 4 years is a long time to be with someone and i can appreciate that it’s not an easy thing to just walk away, especially as the attachment remains of coparenting baby girl. if you feel that he is someone who you can express your feelings to without him defending his/his parents behaviour and making you feel guilty for having these feelings, then 100% it’s worth a try. but it’s a hard conversation to have i’m sure.

i couldn’t imagine how i’d feel if i got asked for a dna test, although my son’s dad isn’t involved. it would break me. you’re a stronger woman than me!

It sucks that he was texting other women, that’s unacceptable!

As for a DNA test, I know it hurts and you feel betrayed. It really is bad of his family to discuss it and try to do one behind your back.
On the other hand, I feel all men should have the right to a DNA test. We know the child is ours, and while I’m sure he “knows” too, a man can never be 100% sure.

You can always go to him and say, I think we should do the DNA test, I don’t want you to ever think out LO is not yours.

It could always be his parents or a friend that has planted that disbelief, so it’s better you nip it in the bud and say yes let’s do it.
Don’t take it as shade on you, it’s on him and whoever fed him the insecurity in the first place.

Again the sexy reels thing is another matter!!!

No decisions needed lovely focus on healing and bonding, the rest will unfold in time.
I will say gently loved doesn't make up for a fundamental lack of respect, and if you do decide to stay he needs to show you just behaviour is changed and you communicate. He needs to stand up for you with his parents, he needs to immediately and unequivocally stop the sexting. Behaviour is a language. But there's time for that, but he needs to rebuild trust and be the partner and father you both deserve x