Dad not participating much…
Hey ladies. More and more I start to notice that my husband doesn’t really participate much in raising our girl. She’s 5 months. I’m stay at home mom and still wake up at night for feeds. I’m the main parent and there’s nothing wrong with it but it would be nice if my husband helped after work. He gets up at 5am so he can gym and then go to work till 4. He is then tired and exhausted. He works a corporate job as a manager so he’s not actually in labor intensive work just a bunch of meeting and desk work. Now I’m not diminishing his work, all types of work are exhausting in their own way. But after work he plays with the baby for 10/15 minutes and then he’s fed up and just watches tv or on his phone “resting”. Where’s my rest? I clean and cook and shop and entertain (we all know how exhausting it is to entertain a baby). After work I get his dinner ready and he usually eats dinner on his own while I just sit there with the baby entertaining (hungry) and then when I went to go wash her bottles and asked him to watch the baby, she was just laying on a couch fussing while he watched tv, he asked what I’m doing why is she fussing, I told him that she probably wants to be played with. He proceeded to say “husband up early, work, come home, baby and sleep and it’s all over again tomorrow” I took offense to the baby part cause he made it sound like he didn’t want to deal with her and it’s now a chore. Like I’m fine with 1 kid. But he wants 4. And I don’t think I want to have more than 2 if this is how it is. Most of the free time he games and sometimes plays with baby. But let me tell you, he doesn’t know how much oz she drinks, or that she doesn’t take bath every night now, or how to put her to nap. He feeds her ever so often if I ask. And changes a diaper maybe a few times a month (generous). I won’t tell him anything cause he’s sensitive. And he always hits me with I do this so you can stay at home with the baby. And yes my life is awesome, I have money and jewelry and few vacations a year. But I all that means nothing if im the only one raising her and he’s not involved as much as he actually thinks. Like he wouldn’t even know how to properly get her to sleep for the night.
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No no no no..... Im not the one. My husband is blue collar diesel, technician & a student. He walks through my door and that baby becomes HIS baby. He's doing booty changes, playing with her, and when he gets home from work he does bathtime. She is breastfed so I do evenings. But he if she wakes up at 5:30am/6am he is up with her until he goes to school. You both had a child, you both sacrifice.
You deserve better than a man child. You deserve an equal partner who acts like a father to your baby 100% of the time. I would tell him how you are feeling. If he does not listen or is too “sensitive” perhaps it’s best to cut ties. Tell him you think he thinks the baby is chore. Do not bring more life into this world without a supportive partner. You’ll surely drown especially if you don’t have anyone else to support you.
If he can wake up early to go to the gym he can help with the baby. Do you get me time at all? The reason you can a stay at home mom probably cause money for daycare and you guys don’t want someone else raising her? That’s doesn’t mean you don’t get your time. He does at the gym where is your me time? I would snap if that was me. I had too. I almost left over some me time. I told his ass I will get me time when the kids are with you every weekend.
I’m not really into getting into peoples marriages or talking about their husbands, so I won’t go there. But I just want to say that the first few months can feel pretty tough, especially around the five-month mark. It gets a lot easier by the seventh or eighth month when they start sitting up, crawling, and being more interactive. That’s when it really starts to get fun! I totally understand how challenging those early months can be, and I'm sorry he isn’t as helpful as you’d hoped.
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