selfish bd

my bd is on supervised visits due to things found out whilst pregnant and his behaviour with her now isn’t a safe parent. he does things that are unsafe for example she can climb the stairs and he sat at the top waiting for her to come up i had to tell him to go behind her since she can’t get down them yet or he goes in the garden leaves the door wide open and when she follows him he doesn’t look back and help her , i have to get up and help her. she’s only 10 months old.

recently i went through cms since he wouldn’t pay after i keep asking. he now has decided he wants more time with her and will give me half of what cms has decided. however when he brought the idea to me about seeing her more, i ask how would it work since he works full time and the two days he has off he sees her. he had no plan so i had to set one and agreed to one morning before work.

yesterday he comes and said he wants overnights with her on the weekend. i’ve declined because she’s breastfed, we cosleep and she doesn’t settle in his house well even when im there. he hasn’t shown that he thinks about her AT ALL. it’s all about him and what he wants but he doesn’t think realistically about it.
he hasn’t even had for alone for a few hours since he doesn’t care about her safety like i do. when i replied saying no and telling him why. etc the actions he’s shown me, the fact she’s breastfed and we cosleep and she’s still young he just started sulking.

he also kept pulling her away from me yesterday. we was at the park and i was sitting on the bench letting her walk around and him bond with her but everytime she came near me or wanted to come over he would pick her up and drag her away to the point she was getting frustrated and i had to grab her and just say we are going home it’s time for a nap.
he doesn’t follow her cues like he will grab her and she’s pushing off because she wants to practice walking and she likes to explore and he just won’t put her down even when she cries. it’s like he doesn’t listen to her he just wants to do what he wants to force bonding but i’ve told him that won’t work. you can’t force a baby to be held if she wants to explore you follow her cues.

atp it feels like he does stuff on purpose that he knows isn’t right just to annoy me because it’s the same problems over and over.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

I wouldn’t allow my child with this person unsupervised. He’s sounds more than clueless, almost like he just doesn’t recognise cues whatsoever because he’s more concerned about proving you wrong. His intentions sound off. Plus the stairs thing is just absurd. To allow a 10 month old to climb stairs while he waits at the top, what kind of brain is this man operating with??

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Depressed mama

To the SAHM how are y’all happy?? I have my days where I’m ok but for the last 4yrs I been so freaking depressed…. Well I been dealing with babydaddy drama so that’s been the main cause but I’m just scrolling on here and really realized I have no life outside of being a mother…. Idk what I like I thought I did… like wtf am I doing with my life??? I have no friends we all just faded from each other…. It’s sooo hard to find a damn job… but somehow I still manage 🤷🏽‍♀️ I just want a friend I’m tired of being lonely ☹️

Avatar

5

3

What should I do ?

Me and my other half been together for about 2 years we have a baby boy he acts like he cares about me and I just recently found out that I’m pregnant again and ever since we found out he been distant never wanting to kiss me then he ask if I’m going to keep the baby I really want to keep it but I’m afraid to say yes but then I’m also afraid he would tell me to leave but I have absolutely no other place to stay but with him he also threats me about leaving me and saying I can’t take my son with me if I decide to leave so I stay he also wants an open relationship and I honestly don’t really like that idea so I honestly don’t know what to do
PLEASE HELP

Avatar

4

How do I move on?

My fiance and I separated and I didn’t want to but since then he’s traveled and gone to clubs with other girls. Also cheated right before we separated. I was very difficult during my postpartum so he says I pushed him to do it. We still live together and he’s still traveling and how do I not think about what he’s doing or who he’s with? How do I move on because the pain is unbearable? The girls he’s gone clubbing with were NYC models and he’s definitely made it clear I haven’t been pretty or skinny in a while. I really just need advice on how I move on 😔🙏

Avatar

3

Tell me if I’m crazy

Soooo my BD right when I first told him I was pregnant he was 20 and I’m 23 and he wanted nothing to do with the baby I told him like hey you know I hear you but I’m not gonna get an abortion for your expense so I said I will raise this baby alone ur good he agreed cool me and this girl have been off and on for years now so me and my now wife ended up getting together and she stepped it and decided to help me and help raise my daughter now when I got married my BD came back in my phone and my family saying I’m keeping him away from his child mind you he didn’t want to be apart of her life up until someone else stepped it so fast forward the baby born I put my wife on the birth certificate cause we are married and she stepped up right I don’t regret that choice at all but it’s like now he trying to be involved and I’m not gonna keep him away from her but at the same time this man don’t have his life together and I feel like he coming in for the wrong reasons not only that all of a sudden he wants a paternity test like your weird I don’t know my baby has two loving parents and I don’t like the picking and choosing you don’t get to pick and choose when to be a parent I’m a mother 25/8 you know am I in the wrong if I completely cut him off

Avatar

2

4

I feel like if I had more money I would eat more healthier. I eat pretty healthy but just like getting a bunch of healthy snacks I can't afford it the whole month. I can afford it for a couple weeks but then it gets hard..

I work for the school district so we get paid once a month. I did get a pay upgrade but it's still hard when you get paid once a month. Has anyone else had the same struggles ?

Avatar

8

Child maintenance - is he working this out wrong?

My ex is telling me that he only needs to enter into the online calculator how much he earns AFTER he deducts his non taxable income. So for example say he earns £32570 he’s saying he only needs to base it off £20000…is this right?! I’ve just been putting his salary in without any deductions. He’s very reluctant to go through the proper channels and I’m wondering whether he’s reluctant because he’s lying about his income

Avatar

4

Read more on Peanut