Did I do the wrong thing? I am confused about why he was acting like that.

NOTE: my partner and I are not married but I call my partners dad "FIL" cause it is easier to say and cause my partner is the father of my child.

Yesterday my toddler and I were playing outside. Our driveway is long. My FIL made a sharp fast turn as he was turning into the driveway. I was on a phone call with my partner while we were outside. When I looked around I realized my son moved to the part of the driveway near the house. Then I ran and picked him up and moved him away from the driveway. Then after I hung up the call my FIL sat in his car for a couple minutes while his car was parked. He also looked like he was typing really fast while he had a serious look on his face. Then when I walked towards the car he opened the door and gave me a long silent serious stare for a while. Like he wanted to say something but he didn't say it. Then he finally spoke after he told me he got some lunch. His words and his body language were not matching though. His body language seemed really nervous. Then i helped him bring the food into the house. When we got inside I poured my son some of the fruit juice into his cup FIL STILL seemed really nervous as he watched me pour the juice. Then when I checked my phone again I got a missed call from my partner (my sons dad.) And he left me a text asking me why i hung up and why I missed his call. Around that same time I overheard my FIL on a call with him. (My partner confirmed that it was indeed him later). We live in a trailer and the walls are thin. Some of the words were muffled at first but his TONE sounded really nervous. Then towards the ended he sounded relieved when he said "Oh! Okay. I love you. Talk to you later. Bye."

So... idk if FIL thought I was cheating or if he thought my child almost got ran over or if he thought I didn't move him out of the way fast enough or what. Then that same night I saw him trying to look at my phone screen while I was texting my partner. (He does that a lot. He is really nosey.) He even had times in the past where he was a lot less subtle about it and asked me "What are you reading?" While I was reading something on my phone. And he has also had times where he asked me who I was talking to if he overheard me on a phone call. I even have nightmares about him going through my phone even though i know he hasnt. I do wonder if he has ever tried stalking my internet history though cause i have had nightmares about it and we live at his house. He has even made comments like "mommys on her phone" in the past. I have also caught him obsessively recording me with his phone several times. I don't understand why he is so obsessed with MY phone when HE is the one filming and photographing me all the time. Idk if he knows that i notice or if he doesnt care or if he does it to intimidate me. He is also super into technology and has a lot of fancy electronic stuff.

in our community

What's the etiquette?

My brother and his girlfriend are going to look after my little girl (20 months) for a few hours so my husband and I can go out for lunch - we never get time to ourselves. This is the first time they've looked after her and it would be nice if they could do it every now and then. They love spending time with her but I want to thank them, I just don't know exactly how. What do you do when family look after your child/children?

Mycarrypotty - essential or overrated?

As the title says, really. Starting to prepare myself for potty training LO and wondering if mycarrypotty is really as brilliant as the ads make out or if I would be spending £25-30 on a gimmick?

I'm honestly feeling pretty overwhelmed with it at the moment, so any tips or recommended reading also welcome

I AM RAGING

My partner works 12 hours while I’m home with the baby and toddler, I’m always cleaning the house looking after the kids and forever overstimulated when he’s at work. When he’s off I’ve asked him today to help me clean the house; he’s taken the piss coming home and I’ve nearly cleaned everything on my own. I’m standing in the kitchen doing the dishes and he has the nerve while he’s taking the washed clothes out the machine to tell me they ain’t even washed properly. I’ve crashed out and said I’ve had enough it’s the fact I’ve cleaned the whole house while you fucked off and took your time getting in the house and now have one job to do and the audacity and never to tell me they ain’t even washed properly. He then says shit like what do you even do? Are you tucking serious right now. I’ve birthed two FUCKING kids I deal with a newborn who’s a few weeks old and a toddler in the terrible twos. Cook clean. What the fuck does he do apart from talk shit and question what I do while he’s at work like he genuinely believes I sit on my fucking ass doing nothing I am FUMING. If I don’t do the cleaning or cooking nothing is fucking done I’m fucking tired of his bullshit

My 4.5 year old hates using public bathrooms

Instead she will hold her wee in all day which im worried will affect her long-term.
Ive had times sitting in a public bathroom for a good 20 minutes until she wees!
I saw yesterday while at a park a mum take her children (looked about 5 and 6) to the car where she got a potty for them to use.
Do others do this?
I hadn't thought about it before as thought its going backwards but my daughter still uses the potty sometimes at home aswell as our toilet!

Needs some advise

I’d like some honest opinions from other mums about something.

My husband is generally a very good husband and a great father to our son, who is nearly four. But sometimes I feel quite restricted in my freedom, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting.

For example, if I go out for coffee with friends for 2–3 hours, he’ll message asking when I’m coming back. If I spend the day out, like I did yesterday with a friend visiting from my home country, he gets upset that I was out all day and came home late - he’s also not speaking with me because of that. He often says he supports me going out, but seems uncomfortable if I stay out too long - I don’t go out to often.

The same thing has happened with work opportunities. I’ve had job offers that involved travelling for work, and he was completely against me going.

What makes me question this even more is that I honestly wouldn’t mind if he had to travel for work, went to play football, or went out for a beer with friends. I’d see that as completely normal.

Am I wrong for feeling this is unfair? I’d really value hearing other mums’ perspectives.

Unsupportive partner

I feel trapped and alone with a husband who respects none of my boundaries with our baby.

We got pregnant/married very quickly and I ended up moving in with my husband and his parents days before I had a c section. My husband avoided most conversations about the baby (she was unwanted by him at the time) but I made it clear I didn’t want visitors in the hospital, wanted privacy with the baby when we got home, nobody holding the baby until I was ready- definitely no kissing the baby etc and he briefly said yes to that. My in laws had always been lovely and respectful so wasn’t expecting any push back at all.

In order to not make the longest post ever- it was a disaster. Every boundary was broken consistently. E.g visiting hours after my c section, holding and kissing the baby, sharing photos, husband giving baby to them when I finally crashed out after 72hours being awake, doing skin to skin with her when I hadn’t even! Never asking my permission for anything only their son who was only too happy to say yes. Letting the neighbour hold my newborn when I was asleep! I developed PPA and was in hell. I have no friends or family and was trapped in this house with a husband who ignored my wishes and called me too strict. He would fall asleep with the baby on the sofa repeatedly, so I sacrificed nearly all my sleep to make sure I was watching her constantly. He sees a psychiatrist so I was hoping he’d give him some good advice- instead he told him he should trust his own judgment if he feels awake enough to sit on the sofa with her in the night. And yet he has no control over falling asleep! This is a man who has fallen asleep at the wheel, on the toilet, standing up…

I finally put my foot down when she was 6 months. I was at the point of a breakdown and retreated. Nobody was holding the baby anymore and I would supervise when others were around her. Resentment built in my husband. He calls me controlling and says he has the right to do whatever he wants as her father. Yet, he is so reckless and has no boundaries.

I’m utterly alone. He’s started lying all the time now and breaking all the promises he has made me. She is now 11 months and he has been threatening to leave me. I have no where to go, no family, just some savings. He has also said he would want overnights yet I could never be on board with that. He isn’t safe. We breastfeed all night and co sleep anyway- I do nights alone and I’m her comfort but he dismisses the importance of our breastfeeding bond and says she doesn’t need it anymore.

I started spending more and more time with the baby around the in laws hoping it would make him happy but he only demanded more. I tutor part time and would have panic attacks hearing him handing her over to his parents, while I worked upstairs. (After he promised he wouldn’t).

So, I’ve temporarily bent. I’ve loosened my boundaries. I’ve told him I need to let go of the past and trust them all again. Because I fear us splitting, being on my own in the world with our baby with no support. I don’t trust nurseries or childminders because of my own experiences when younger. I wouldn’t be able to make an income and afford a place alone. And he’d get unsupervised access and maybe overnights with our baby and I can’t let her safety be risked like that.

(He’s also got a terrible best friend who has been harassing me and trying to meet our baby- I’ve firmly held on to this boundary- but I fear he would take her to him if we were no longer together).

I’m just somebody whose been trying to hold her family together and keep her baby safe and yet I feel I’ve been punished so much for it.

I’m sorry for this long, rambling post if you are still reading. I feel utterly helpless and alone.