Am I in the wrong?
My husband was in a really bad car accident. They weren’t sure if he was going to make it. He got life flighted and needed multiple surgeries. When I got the call, I was so scared. I packed the kids up and went straight to the hospital, where we stayed until they made us leave, and then I got us a motel near the hospital so we could be there in the morning. In the morning the news wasn’t good and this was when they spoke about life flighting him 3 hours away. I called my mom and asked her to take the kids for the night so I could be there with him. For the duration we were in the hospital, I had the routine of taking the kids to school, driving back to the hospital, staying until 5pm and then leaving to be home by 8 to get the kids to bed. From 5-8 (when their school/aftercare ends to when I got them) they were safe at my mom’s house playing and watching movies. This routine went for 3 days, because then the weekend hit and we all went to the hospital and colored/played bored games in his hospital room with my husband who was in recovery, awake, and in surprisingly good spirits.
Anyways, my mom ended up texting me as we were being discharged and told me she feels I chose my husband over my kids. She said if I was taking a whole week off of work I should’ve been taking them places and having fun with my kids. She says there was no reason for me to have been in that hospital because I’m not a doctor, and he had professionals taking care of him. She believes I failed my kids, and accused me of not loving them. She said it’s so sad I chose a man over my children (my dying husband and father of my children, to be clear). I told her she was being ridiculous and she flipped out more. Now every day since we’ve gotten home, she texts me calling me a horrible mother and saying I need to leave my husband because he’s a “loser” now that he’s can’t walk so he can’t provide for us. She accuses me of not loving kids daily, makes threats to take them from me, and says I don’t protect them or do my job as a mother.
To add more context here, I’m a good fucking mom. People always compliment me for how I handle situations. I am involved in the school, I sit at every single soccer practice/dance practice/ recital/ music lesson, etc. I encourage all their dreams. We have family movie nights and game nights and they have everything they need in life. Full bellies, showers, warm beds, and a loving home.
So what would you have done? Was I wrong?
Unreasonable or nah?
Partner wanted to take son to see his grandad at the pub at 6pm. I said thats fine but he needs ro be back by half 7 absolute LATEST because his bedtime is actually 7, but I wanted to give them longer. He starts arguing, saying son can sleep in the pram. I say no, you know he doesnt sleep well in the pram and he doesnt transfer well, bedtime will be a battle and so will the night shift. He says he'll handle it but I say it's not the point, our son needs routine. He starts yelling at me, telling me I'm being controlling and he can do what he wants with our son. It becomes a massive thing, resulting in me saying 'if you cant compromise, youre not taking our son anywhere'. He tries to backpeddle and say he'll bring him back, its gone 6 now and hes losing time. I say no, until you learn to respect our sons wants and needs and out them before your own/your dad's, it's not happening
Hes now crying in the garden to his dad about what a bitch I am and tbh, I'm ready to pack my shit and leave.
For context: 1) I do ALL the nightshifts. My partner never wakes, if I want help I have to wake him. But if I wake him he gets shitty and makes the whole nighttime thing way more stressful, so I've stopped bothering. Partner says this is MY problem as I'm choosing to do it alone..
2) his dad won't come to ours apparently, because i 'dont make him feel welcome'. Weird, considering I hugged him last time I saw him and hand painted an engagement card, but Im a cunt ig?
3) last time he took him to the pub, he didnt come back until 11pm, despite me ringing several times asking him to being him home. He left eventually...after his friends told him to.
