Hello all, im a SAHM to twin boys, I have a husband but feels like i dont.. idk what do anymore, hes a nurse, works at night i dont bother him when he sleeps for 12hrs+ i know he needs rest but when hes off and his sleep pattern is back he doesn't help me at home, he moves from the bed to the couch when hes home and when I ask for help he says how tired he is and gets defensive and tells me how " my attitude is ruining our marriage" and tells me how we need to play our parts like its the 1800s, mind you he stayed out late the other night until 1am with friends...he has energy for that, i have 0 help, even bring the boys with bags in the house, i clean, i cook, i do laundry just everything! he is just financial help, and i say just because i will be working at some point as well then i will feel like whats the point of staying in the marriage when i do everything, he told me the other day how he wishes we can switch parts and how good i have it and just stay at home with the boys.. its heartbreaking that he cant see the truth💔 im so overwhelmed I cry all the time sometimes I feel like this life isn't meant for me, idk how great of a job im doing being a mom, I feel like going to my doctor to put me on meds because I have so much anxiety ill hyperventilate, im constantly overwhelmed idk what to do i have no support I feel so alone..
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How old are the boys??? Can you do something while they’re at school/camp/daycare? This is a classic case of losing yourself while in a marriage. You can’t just blame everything on your husband. You have to take some accountability in this too. I ALWAYS advocate of always making your own money as a wife. Even if its DoorDash so that man doesn’t control you so much & you keep your respect /integrity intact. Nowadays theres so many ways to make money online & from home. As far as him working 12hrs+ yes I know its rough on you but the lack of respect stems down to the fact that your husband sees that you’re not doing anything for yourself, hes the full breadwinner so he gets to control you & the marriage. You need your own « me » time. Start demanding it.