Is this true?

There was a post I read which I can’t get out of my mind. I have a son and a daughter (both under 2). It basically said how daughters become a reflection of us, they are a mirror back at us showing us the good and bad and making us reflect. The same with sons and their fathers eventually.

My marriage has been a wreck since we had kids, constant bickering and disrespect. There are good parts. Would I want my daughter to be who I am now? Someone who accepts being spoken to like this? I used to be a very strong, loud, proud and extroverted person. I would love for her to be like be like the person I was 5 years ago. However, now I feel silenced in my home, allowing myself to be disrespected. I can’t say all of the changes are due to my husband, maybe motherhood too.

I can’t stop thinking, would I want my son to treat his future wife how I am being treated? No. Would I want my daughter accepting being spoken to this way? No.

He is a good dad in many other ways, he does provide, plays with them, helps with bedtime routine etc. but we are failing to model a good relationship. I dont think he likes me anymore, let alone love. I’ve brought up therapy many times but he will never agree.

Maybe it’s best to be apart? I don’t know what messes up kids less.

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I can't say this enough it's very unfortunate but love on you pour into you and work on healing yourself things will get better

this is true.. kids are a reflection of their parents

A broken home isn’t one where parents separate from eachother, it’s one where nobody feels comfortable or loved.

Why won’t he go to therapy? If you don’t have time or can’t afford it, have you tried reading some books together? John Gottman has some great ones!

Are you in therapy yourself? That might help you navigate some of this. The first few years can be so so hard.

My parents are still married and should not be. I wished my whole life they would have divorced so maybe my mom could have been happy and treated right.

I mean I guess. The things I seen my mom do and accept made me not do and not accept certain things without her having to tell me it was unacceptable. Other qualities of hers I am grateful to have. I think people are pretty resilient and it takes alot more than bickering to mess up a child.

I think one of the first things u can do is examine how you are treating yourself. Sometimes we indirectly subconsciously show others how to treat us based off how we treat ourselves and what we allow. Before trying to “fix” the relationship… work on the relationship u have with yourself. How are your family and friendship relationships? Are u making time for yourself for self care and self improvement? Are you truly happy with you. Meaning if this relationship ends… you are going to have to deal with all of this anyway and it will be 20x harder. So start with the building blocks … which is you taking care of you…. Sp that if u do exit half the work is done. And if he wont go to counceling bring counceling to him…. Look up Telehealth options. When u are in a stronger position…. he will be forced to either make changes or be left behind. But based off what you are saying….. this relationship can be salvaged and its in a hard place.

in our community

AnE ??

Maybe I’m over panicking here - all day my son (3) has thrown up, if he ate (toast) he throws up, even without stomach contents he’s throwing up, has water, he throws up - he hasn’t weed since 9am when he did a poop. He’s very tired - this is a AnE trip right or am I overreacting ?

I’m already packing a bag as I write this but…am I being a panicked mum here

Daily training- good progress

Daddy got the baby for the whole day yesterday and somehow did all 5 activities from the daily plan 🤣
She came back to me at bedtime fully ruined in the best way — passed out by 7pm, slept through the night, didn’t make a single peep until 6am.
Praying he keeps this up because mama needs another night like that 💜

anti-vaccination ladies

Hello all. anyone of you refused all or any vaccinations or injections etc for your babies/kids? let me know……..

i dont know many mamas…

Sleep!

Has anyone got any tips for easing tiredness for the newborn stage?? Me and my bf do shifts atm where we have about 6 hrs sleep each but we’re still absolutely knackered. I know this is just how it is going to be for a while but did anything help anyone? There’s only so much coffee I can drink and it’s not really cutting it🤣

4 month sleep advice!

I need 4 month baby sleep advice!
Chat gpt says one thing, an app says another. My baby is 4 months 2 weeks and feels like his sleep has been rubbish for like 5-6 weeks now. I did think yesterday maybe his day naps are too short, he’s had three short naps today (30 mins each x 3)
An app I have is saying he should have another short nap (6.38pm) but Chat gpt is saying an early bed time. He can normally go down between 6.00/7.45 depending on the day after a bath and feed but he wakes so much during the night.
The app is saying they need like 3 hours day time sleep then 10 nighttime, But he just seems to wake every 1.5-2 hours and only thing to settle is the boob. I try dummy and hand on chest first, sometimes works, most time doesn’t, same with a cuddle and rocking. Boob quietens him but half the time it’s soothing rather than feed. I unlatch him and let him sleep on me for about 15 minutes so it’s safe to transfer him without waking, also sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t. I don’t know what the right thing is to do. Feel like I’m losing my mind lol

New mom identity

I know when you have a child your entire world revolves around them, but sometimes it’s hard to do the things or recognize the things that make you feel like you. I know it takes time to feel settled into your new life and as time goes on you find a new normal version of yourself. However, when you’re in the thick of the first year and you are so needed by your child, it becomes a complete cluster to realize who you are. I say all this to say, one of my friends (who is male) said that most of the time all I talk about is being a mom or my struggles through my first year (5 months pp) postpartum. Is this a bad thing? I know I do speak to other people about different things. It’s just not great to hear that right now being a mom is my only identity.