Grandparents babysitting

When you have your parents or your child's other grandparents babysit them, do you share the routine and schedule or do you just allow them to do whatever or do you do like a half and half?

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I give them the schedule, write up a list of tips and tricks to give them. Then tell them "here is what is normal for the kids, here is what works for me, use what you want. I just want to give this to you in case you need ideas."

I let them know the routine, but I also know that they don’t keep them too often, so I allow leniency. If they kept them several days a week as a regular routine, then they would have to abode by the schedule for the sake of the child.

My MIL lives with us so she’s pretty familiar with our routine but we just let her do what she feels is best bc we trust her judgement but I know that’s not everyone’s ideal situation

The try to follow the schedule but doesn’t always work. Like my toddler doesn’t always nap for them etc but yes they mostly follow it. Except my dad. He does whatever he wants haha

My dad is babysitting for when my husband and I go back to work ( me tomorrow M-F and him on Tuesday T-TH) He knows the basics of our routine but she is still young so it’s not a set in stone schedule..there is some wiggle room! My brother and I turn out just fine so I trust him

I share the schedule and give tips to calm her. I also meal and drink prep. Her nap schedule is not negotiable and I let them know but my family does what they please but they know the fundamentals

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Vent sesh- Do your MILs think your husband (26M) is their husband and have a weird obsession with your baby(5mF)?

I understand the bond between a grandmother and her grandchildren is sacred and well as a mother with her child...But do your MILs think your husband is their husband or have a weird obsession with/comparing themselves to your child?

Husband:
-She will call him every other day asking about his whereabouts and if he's okay. (Used to be everyday but he had to tell her to chill out) And if she doesn't get a response from him (he ignores her) she'll call or text me to see about him and have him call her.

-Calls him to vent about his siblings and his fathers (biological and adopted dads) or about any friend or family drama she's going through. And when she was working would call and tell him about her day.

-Tries to memorize his sleep/work schedule. To anticipate when to call him or stop by to see the baby. (Yes she feels like he has to be here to see her grandchild)

-Constantly bragging about him on social media even though he has 3 other siblings. (Yes he's the oldest 🙄 go figure)

My daughter:
-Since the sonogram she has expressed that she hopes my daughter came out looking like her. (She didn't lol) She would send me her baby pictures and and would even say her legs in the sonogram looked like hers. Anything my baby does now like how she sleeps, eats, chews on her fingers, sits.... She swears she had the same mannerisms.(Midn you I did the same things as a baby and was just thinking it's a baby thing but 🤷🏾‍♀️) And whenever she starts going on I just smile and say okay out of respect for my husband. Meanwhile my husband is spacing out and not even listening so him butting in doesn't happen. Whenever she visits she hyper fixates on my baby girl so much so her daughter (7F yes 7) starts to get upset. She'll tell my baby that she's just soooo beautiful and that she loves her so much about 100 times in 1 hour (I wish I was exaggerating) and then when my little sister in law wants to ask a question she'll ignore her. (Of course if I catch on that she's being ignored I pause everything and make sure she is heard)

She's mentioned that she feels like her daughter takes after her dad and that she sees herself in her sometimes and I guess that where the "obsession" (IMO) stems from but that's a her/therapy problem. I used to not feel a way about everything but now I'm getting annoyed. Anyone going through anything similar or am I overreacting?

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