Guilt?

I'm wondering if anyone can resonate with me on this

I work in childcare 42 hrs a week and decided to go on mat leave from 30 weeks due to the physical and mental strain of that job- no one needs that in the 3rd trimester! Having only bought our house just under 2 years ago - my to do list for the nursery and generally doing bits around the house that I wanted to do before baby's arrival was like something out of a Star wars credits scene. Cut to present day - I'll be 33 weeks tomorrow and the majority of my to do list is done. My house couldn't get any more spotless and I find myself cleaning things that others probably wouldn't even think about more than once a year.

Anyway long story short - for example this morning I've run two loads of washing hoovered the whole house dusted the skirting boards done the washing up taken the rubbish out and more that I forget to mention. But even though I've done this before 10:30AM and being heavily pregnant - why the hell do I feel guilty for just resting?! Is it because my partners still at work and I'm just sitting on my backside in-between chores? It's a really odd kind of guilt as well - it's like dissatisfaction and disappointment that I'm not doing more with my time. But my god - there's literally nothing to do anymore. I've done it all 🫩🫩

in our community

Bf’s kid

My boyfriend has a 4 year old and she is very rude and disrespectful and also very demanding. Every time I get on to her for the way she talks to people and the way she treats people he tries to brush it off like she does nothing wrong.
She makes him do everything for her like putting her shoes away or carrying her because she doesn’t want to walk she also hits him and tells him she’s not going to listen to what he says and he does nothing
I tried confronting him about it and he tried to say I sounded jealous and I told him that I find it ridiculous that he lets her run him like he’s not a grown man and her father.
He also told me I would have to just get over it
But I really want to tell him that if he doesn’t correct her behavior then I don’t want her around because I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking it’s ok to disrespect people and be mean to people when they don’t do what she wants.
It’s to the point where I don’t even like when she touches my baby
And when I send him pictures he only saves the ones of his daughter to his camera roll but not the ones of the baby it’s like she doesn’t exist when his daughter is around

For those who’s in law live 1 hr away

How often do you visit your in laws?

Help solve dilemma. Boyfriend is a manager (going on a year) he’s been with the company going on 6 years. He saw that the guy under him (he used to do the same job) makes $11 more a hour than him, but he’s been with the company for 14yrs

Do you think my boyfriend is getting underpaid? Or this seems reasonable?… what would you do or tell him?

Did your relationship suffer first year of postpartum?

I’m interested to know ! Me and my partners relationship was so fragile the first 8 months. I was raging, I felt my workload was endless, I lost all my alone time and the sleepless nights 😩

My partner felt burned out from work pressure and financial responsibilities. I always complained and made him feel like he couldn’t do anything right. ( I was always saying don’t do that and don’t do it like this with baby . I’m sure others can relate .) and it took a few months for my partner to connect with our baby.

I feel like now at 9 months we are slowly getting closer again. My partner had a week of work and spend the days with us and realised how much work I do. Since then he has started to help out more. Which has changed my life .

I have been watching some programs about new parents lately and seem like most people go through this.

Please answer the options or comment and share your experience. 🫶

What would you do?

Background: So myself and my partner have been together for 8yrs now. And sex life is kindof average I would say, I mean there is no foreplay and stuff. I'm used to it by now. Our biggest problem is we both want to do something but neither one of us wants to ignite. For me I just don't feel loved by him most times because he hasn't planned a date for us in years and we barely spend time together. He works and I'm a SAHM of 2 littles. So I feel cheap when I'm always the one doing oral to get things going when he hasn't really touched me in a long time.

Now the day before I made a deal with him that Mon/Wed/Fri will be his days to ignite and spoil me, then Tue/Thur/Sat will be my turn to ignite. Sundays it will be random. He agreed and because it was Sunday I decided I'll take the initiative and ignite stuff.

Now last night was supposed to be his turn to ignite, but we laid next to each other and he did nothing, he made an excuse that he thought today was my day. So I was like no it's your day but if you don't want to then I'm going to bed, I turned around and started doomscrolling, he went to smoke outside. Then when he came in again he asked me to lay next to him and after 15mins he started touching me. And I don't know, I felt nothing. Because this whole thing felt forced like I had to force him. That just puts me off. So I told him I dont really want to do anything because it feels like I forced him. He sighed and then turned around. No talking, no denying no trying. So I turned around and slept.

Was my actions unnecessary?

How are you entertaining your non walking toddler?

My 15 month old isn't walking yet and not anywhere close. It's getting harder and harder to find activities because she hates being strapped into anything so cars and prams are a no go. She can only army crawl so I can't do too much at an outdoor playground with her.

She also has 16 teeth so everything goes in the mouth. This limits the messy play I can do. I try but she eats everything.

I'm also a SAHM so nothing too expensive. We can't afford swim lessons or sensory classes. We do the free library classes but those have now fallen on her nap time so haven't been able to attend for weeks.

Any suggestions?