Solo pregnancy
Hey all.. I’m not sure if I have a question or just want to vent or some insight from anyone who’s been in a similar position. After over 10 years unexplained infertility with ex partner around 7 months later I started seeing someone it was just casual but seemed promising. I pretty much got pregnant the first time we slept together and with my history I knew my only option was to continue the pregnancy he however was quite vocal about termination and I was very firm that would not be happening. We are both late 30s good jobs no other children and did speak about wanting them in the future. We met to discuss and he was very cold said he would not want any updates no photos etc of the baby but will send maintenance every month. I’m not comfortable with that at all it’s too transactional and we are talking about a human being that won’t be erased. I’m happy to continue on my own but deep down I would like his involvement and part of me hopes what he said was out of shock. I have agreed to update him after the 12 week scan - I am 10 weeks now and had scans at 6 and 7 weeks all seems well. I want to leave the door open but also don’t want it to be a revolving door ☹️ I don’t mean in a relationship as it would feel forced now but to be able to coparent as I also have no family support and I just worry about it being lonely and feel guilty for being in this situation even tho it’s all I’ve ever wanted is to be a mum. anyone been in a similar situation?
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Hiya, I was in the same position, my LO is now 7 months old. Drop me a message if you need any advise or just a chat, happy to help if I can 😊
Dont feel guilty at all. I totally understand. I had almost 6 years of infertility with my ex partner and then slept with someone once and got pregnant. The guy that got me pregnant was someone I used to know from school (im 28 now) and he has no job, no housing of his own, and does drugs constantly. I decided to continue with the pregnancy and have my baby and shes now 3 months old and couldnt be happier. Obviously I dont get maintenance and its a struggle and a stress but its so worth it. The only thing that matters is that the baby is well loved by you and to be the best mum you can be. I wouldnt count on the guy though, he may come in and out of your babies life but at the very least, its good he's offering child maintenance. I enjoy having a baby by myself, no one gets in the way and i have so much more time just us. It is really hard though, I wont lie, but I honestly wouldnt have it any other way. Good luck to you and your baby.
I’m a solo mum my choice so a bit different but you can absolutely cope. I don’t have much family support either. Personally, I’d take the money he’s offering! It may be shock and he may come round, but you can absolutely do this by yourself - and frankly, whilst I won’t say it’s easier, certain aspects are easier than co-parenting.
Personally, I wouldn't want the energy of someone that can treat you and your unborn baby that way.
Accept the maintenance, and where possible, aim to make peace (over time) that all your baby needs is you.
1 stable parent is 100% better than than having 2 where 1 is flaky x
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