Becoming a single mom

Hi ladies.
I am a FTM of a 13 week old. Me and my fiancé have been together for 11 years. He has always been bad with finances and we have been on breaks multiple times and every time I have taken him back thinking he has changed.
I recently just found out that while I got so bad with my ppd and ppa and had to be hospitalized at a mental facility, he was stealing money from my bank account and gambling again. I have since gotten better and able to care for my child, but found out by looking at my bank that he has been charging his expenses on my card as well as using my car for work everyday so I have no means of transportation. He doesn’t pay me the bills on time and I have always been the one to have my name on every bill and pay them. He has not spent a cent on our baby since he’s been born for anything. I confronted him about it and cannot believe the person that I thought I was going to marry can do this to me.
I cannot trust him anymore therefore know that I cannot be with him anymore especially for the sake of our son. I want us to be the best coparents but I am so scared. This is not what I envisioned as a family and for my boy.
I’m heartbroken and now am going to have to do this by myself while he figures out how to get help and provide for his son.
Does anyone have advice on how to do this? I don’t even know where to start with him having visitation and what finances he needs to provide. I live in Illinois.
I just got through some of the darkest moments of my life with the depression and now I have to go through this. I’m so terrified.

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He may not want to work with you so you may need to go to court. Most lawyers will do a free consolation so maybe see what a couple of them say about the situation. Some of them may take payment plans if you take them on. Since you ain't married and you say all the bills and stuff are in your name a lot of the process is already streamlined so I say kick him out and I hope this goes without saying but stop his access to your account.

I would lawyer up and change all your bank info. I am a mom of two and I am going through a divorce as we speak. It’s not pretty. Especially when the guy likes to make things difficult.

As a mom who has been through a divorce with a child and someone who did not want to agree with things or compromise, getting an attorney is best. Document all conversations you and the baby father have. The attorney will help you step by step and will be the best person to help you through the crazy journey. All states are different when it comes to custody so do your research on attorneys and don’t be afraid to ask questions and voice what you want and what your concerns are.

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