help?
Me and child’s father will be having our baby the end of July. We decided it is best we co-parent. We’ve had horrible history including dv before and somewhat during the pregnancy. I told him to get into therapy , and other classes and I’m suprised he actually did. We went a month of no contact. When should I allow the baby to be around him alone? I feel bad he is possibly going to have to miss out on the newborn stage, because we are strictly separated.
Read more on PeanutThe views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Domestic violence? And repeatedly?!
I would start with never. If you can’t be in the same room as him without fear of him hurting you, why would you allow your baby to be around that?!
After the first couple of years, if he shows improvement through short contact with the both of you where you are always present, then maybe discuss it again.
But if he’s a repeat domestic violence offender - nopity nope.
Him being allowed to be with your baby was removed when he hurt you.
A man that doesn’t care pregnancy women and hurts her physically or mentally is somewhat has in normality situation may be drugs or other factor. I’m not an expert but it worthy to be wait until he completely gain his strengths and get back to normal. Your baby is your heart and do not allow anyone to be around if you’re not sure their sanity.
If no safeguarding concerns, then as soon as he can see baby really as baby needs to bond with their father too. If there are safeguarding concerns where baby would be at harm then arrange for supervision.
Realistically, if he applies for court he would get contact pretty much soon enough as abuse was to you and not the baby (unfortunately as bad as it is, been through it and told by a Judge myself). As you say, he’s shown he wants to make change when he done what you asked to get help as well
Download the Peanut App
