Offended by Health Visitor

I’m a bit confused with what I should be doing with feeding my 9 month old (he just turned 9 months) He’s only gained 500g since 6 months old, he’s very very active. He’s crawling, standing up with support and started to stand without support, he’s walking with support (push walker, holding him or furniture) so he’s not tired or lethargic, he is a very healthy and energetic boy.

I was under the impression that at this age, the focus should be exposure to different foods and texture, focusing on chewing and overall just learning how to eat. And that their main nutrition still comes from breastmilk until they’re 1 year old.

I usually feed my son 3 meals a day, largest meal being lunch and a smaller meal for dinner to avoid belly pains at night. A typical meal would be a toast with nut butter for breakfast or porridge, meatballs/chicken with some sort of potatoes or salmon with rice or vegetables. Dinner would be something small like corn or hummus with bread. He’s still feeding before meals as we were told to feed before meals. He’s breastfed and I’m breastfeeding on demand which feels like consistently throughout to the day!

I had a weigh in appointment this morning with the HV and she was very judgmental — she asked me what solids I give my son and when I explained to her, she immediately said “why are you not feeding him?” Which was honestly so heartbreaking to hear because I’m doing my best to make sure I feed my son correctly (he’s allergic to cow’s milk and egg so I go out my way to prepare his food)

Anyways, sorry for the rant! I guess I just want to know what I should be doing — and if I’m doing anything wrong? I’d love to have any advice.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Honestly, I would forget everything this person said to you. I had a very similar situation with my son at 6 months old and he’s now 21 months and listening to her was my biggest regret. The things she recommended to me were unsafe (things like feeding my 6 months old peas and sweetcorn as a snack). You sound like you’re doing a fab job - the only thing that sounds slightly different to what I did is that I offered my son food when he was hungry (so before any milk) x

I wouldn’t say you’re doing anything wrong. My daughter’s always been underweight and when she was around that age the health visitor just said to me if she’s eating there’s nothing we can do. The only thing is if they constantly finish their meals then to make bigger portions. Ideally you don’t want them to finish the meal so that you know they’re full up. If there’s constant clear plates they could still be hungry without you realising so if they leave some you can be more sure that they’re full up. I wouldn’t worry too much they’ve always told me that my girls very very active and she just burns off more than she takes in (even tho she eats like a 5 year old🤣)

Don’t mind health visitors honestly. I was told my 7 week old baby at the time has ‘attachment issues’ because she wanted to sleep on my chest which is obviously ridiculous. I am a foreigner and health visitors are not a thing where I am from and i honestly don’t understand what they are even for they helped me with nothing at all.

in our community

Is my marriage salvageable?

For years iv felt emotionally alone.
Both of my labor & births, he may as well not be there. He didnt come near me or support me in any way.
All we do is bicker now. He complains constantly about my mood and how depressing I am to be around. Im exhausted. Our second baby has never been a good sleeper. He started to sleep through but has now got a cold so the oast 2 nights have been horrendous. So much so I missed my first day back to work after maternity leave as my day begun at 2:30am.

Im drained, im also chronically ill with an auto immune disease, im facing new health issues with prolonged menstrual bleeding. I have bled for 50% of the time over the past 5m. Im being sent for an urgent scan which was arranged and booked for just 3 days after my appointment. After that appointment he didn't ask how it went, when I eventually told him 2 days before the scan that I was being sent for one, his main concern was who will watch the kids cause hes working. Not why or what or how am I feeling about it. Im so miserable atm. He tells me im dramatic, im depressing, im a quitter blah blah. I have PND / PNA im so not okay atm. He knows this. But dismisses my feelings and my health issues all the time.
Iv never felt so alone.

Am I overreacting about this morning?

I wasn’t feeling well today, so I asked my husband to take care of the baby in the morning. Normally the baby wakes up around 7, but my husband got him around 7:45. I got up around 8:30 and went to check on them. The baby was still in his pajamas, his diaper hadn’t been changed, and it was completely full(wee). My husband was making breakfast, but he couldn’t get the baby to eat.

I had literally just gotten up, and seeing everything like that annoyed me because my husband was originally supposed to be off today. Then he told me he actually had some important meetings and needed to start work at 9. So it suddenly felt like everything was still falling on me anyway. I got a little passive aggressive and said, “Fine, I’ll feed him,” and of course the baby ate with me because I turn it into a game and all that.

Then we started arguing after a few comments back and forth.

On the days your partner takes the baby in the morning, do they usually change them, get them dressed, and handle breakfast too? Because normally I do all of that every single morning. The only times I really expect my husband to fully take over are when I’m sick.

Is this petty?

My partner (and his 9 yo son) never take their dirty tissues out their pockets. Sons, I empty. Partners I used to, however I told him repeatedly ‘take issues out else it messes all the other clothes’ ‘yea yeah’ was the reply I got.

Well his shorts have been in the wash basket now for 2 weeks as there’s dirty issues in the pockets. The rest of the washing has all been done.

Am I being petty? Should I just take it out. Hoping he’ll soon ask about them and I’ll say ‘there’s tissue in pockets’ 😂😂

Single mom here 👋 How are 3yo boys peeing in public bathrooms these days please

Potty training is the worst project I hate it so much but we're doing it we're in it we're going diaper free now..

I put my son standing on the toilet seat and peeing in it and he pushed his hips forward and just did it. And I'm like.. idk if I just did that correctly lol