Married single momma?!?!

Hey yall… I need some advice.

Me and my husband been married 3yrs and have two kids * 4yrs and 4months* well I do EVERYTHING for the boys. Feed,change, bath, play/love, teach everything you can think of I do it alone. I’m the only one that wakes up at night with the baby while he doesn’t even try to wake up. He works 9-5 but doesn’t normally come home til 5:40-6 then goes to boxing from 7-9 then by the time he comes home both kids are in bed if not asleep also. That like hour and a half he’s home he doesn’t help me with the boys or anything just plays on his phone or the Xbox. He asks me for sex everyday and gets mad when I say no or when I ask him “why do you think I want sex everyday” he walks around like a sad puppy. He’s always yelling at the kids for no reason then gets mad when I tell him to chill tf out…. Anyways what would you do if you were dealing with this?

I’ve talked to him multiple times

He tells me to tell him what to do but at that point I do everything bc what’s the point in having to tell a dad to be a dad.

He hardly listens to me and what I have to say but talks about his job and all the females there’s everyday.

in our community

How ridiculous is this?!

Not looking for advice or even a rant, more just to laugh about this ridiculous "toddler moment" 🤣 My 15 month old (she's more of an 18 month/two year old) has just learnt the word "flower" and loves to smell them! My husband brought me home some flowers yesterday evening (he must be after something 🤣) which I put on a vase at the dinning table and now all my LO wants to do is smell the bloody things! Breakfast took us an hour including all the "flower breaks" and lunch has just taken us AN HOUR AND A HALF! We have also had 3 full blown tantrums because I've said no more flowers and put them away and 1 were I told her off for climbing up the chairs to try and reach them... 🙄 Its very cute and hearing her say "mumma flower" and scrunch her nose up like she's pretending to smell, melts my heart but also I've had enough now 🤣

ADVICE NEEDED

Am I a bad mum for wanting to go back to work at 3 months PP, for context we live in the uk. My partner is coming back from work arguing with me daily saying shit like “you’ve been home all day it’s easier for you” and “what do you do all day nothing” and i have fucking had enough I do not sit on my fucking ass I look after a baby and toddler 24 fucking 7. I’m fuming tbh. I have never seen him wake up at night for the new baby, I do the night shift then wake up for my toddler and also cook and clean. I am also exclusively pumping to BF my baby. The absolute fucking audacity of this little cunt. I would much rather be at work let’s be honest it’s much easier than being at home and dealing with this bullshit. It’s quite upsetting that it’s gotten to this as I am only 3 months PP considering reaching out to work so I can catch a break and not be sat at home. Honestly, let him pay for nursery and realise how fucking cheap his labour was when I was staying home with the baby. I’ve had enough

I formula fed, im the one working parent, i slept trained (ferber) and my kid and i diddnt baby wear enough.

Hes a happy, calm, sweet kid and has a great bond with dad. No bond with me besides occasional excitement when i get home because the dogs get excited and he loves the dogs. Evey twat on the internet loves to tell me how this is all my fault and ive broken him and its too late to build the bond and hes just going to grow up fucked up and hating women and will hate himself. I know i need to just touch grass for a bit but i tried that and it really hasnt helped. I already see every specialist and crazy dr under the sun and apparently this is the best im ever gonna get.
Did i blow it? Is everyone else right? Hes not even 2 yet.

Wedding invite with no kids

I‘ve recently got an invite from my friend for her wedding and her invite stated no kids (unless in the wedding party). It did not include babies on arms, but we have a 2-month old daughter (she will be just four months at the time of the wedding) and she is ebf. My friend knows she is very young, but maybe not aware of the challenge around going somewhere with a baby, as she doesn’t have children yet. For context, we are all in our late thirties, so maybe not that uncommon to expect that someone will have a baby? Would it be awkward to ask to make an exception. If not, how would other mums handle the situation. Has anyone hired a nanny for the day to take along and be in the background and fed baby when needed?

When did you start chores for your kids?

What kind of chores did you start and what ages did you start them? How did you get your kids to actually do their chores?

Hes wearing a ring and im not?

I dont know how I feel about this. Hes been trying to find good jobs mentioning he has a family and how they need to pay him more and respect his time. Which im okay with. I see the ring on his finger now that hes got a new job and it bothers me. Because of some things in the past that he hasn't taken responsibility for. I honestly dont think he knows what that is. Its because hes been comfortable. Uber driving for years. Living at his mother's house and doing his own thing. If I ask him to do something simple like put a few dollars in my tank he will refuse, he will belittle and its exhausting. The other day I was bent over and barely could walk because of my UTI. And i needed him to go to the pharmacy fpr me and pick up my daughter. When he called and saw i hadnt paid for it yet he was so shitty. And i ended up going to get the 18$ medication myself and told him i would pick up my daughter. Even though he saw i was hurt he slept like a baby even with a smile on his face. When he saw i was up all night and bothered. The first time he got me pregnant, it was terrible. He turned against me and tried to get everyone at work to as well and ended up making me quit my job when I had no money. The reason why he lashed out the way he did was because i told a coworker how he doesnt do anything at all and just lives with me. He would rather go get a plastic knife from the car then pick up a dish. He would rather me ask another man for money than ask him and he lied so much for such little and stupid things and never took accountability and would bring up all the things I ever confided in him and the relationship with my family against me to avoid the littlest amount of responsibility. He also kicked me out of his mother's house when I lost the apartment constantly making me live out of my car and still doesnt take responsibility for this.
So i was constantly being gaslighted and he ran away back to his mother's house in every argument. Money always seems to be a problem for us. Recently I cut him off for 3 weeks. He sent flowers said he would help out more and not make me feel like. Im asking for the world if I ask him to help me cut some lemons to i could make us fresh lemonade or to get something for me if im already sitting down. And ill say this hes been making progress. He will gets groceries and not act out in a bad way because he did something simple for me. Our disagreements have gotten a bit easier. He stays calm and doesnt scream and yell. But I need him to take actual accountability for putting me in constant unstable situations. And not coming up with excuses for his behavior. Im willing to go to couples therapy with him. We've been dating for a year. And I do think he'll propose. And has good intentions. Hes really good with our daughte rand theyve formed a bond. But we have some things to work out first.