Sex Pest Husband

I don’t know if anyone else’s husband is similar. Mine can be overly full on with sex at times. To be fair, we haven’t been doing it as much for a while, between balancing a toddler, work and commutes etc, life’s exhausting. So he raised the issue and we said we’d work on it and then shortly after we started trying for a baby which happened straight fortunately, but then my sickness set in soon after which meant it died off again. But he gets in these moods, which I can tell he’s in by the moment I look at him because he just looks different in his eyes, the way he speaks etc he just acts differently and he usually says he “feels anxious or off” but I know it’s sexual and I immediately shut down because in the past (especially if he’d been drinking too) he’d want to have sex and then end up not being able to finish (which only happens in these moods) and he’d persist for hours which I’d obviously get over and stop because at that point it’s not even enjoyable but then he’d just keep trying. So now when I notice that mood, I don’t even engage in starting because I know what happens. Anyway, last night in bed (he came home from work in that strange mood) he started grabbing me (as always, never get affection unless he wants something) and I’d been quite sick so I said obviously it’s not the time and he reckons he “can’t tell when is” read the room man. Anyway, then like an hour later or so after I’d fallen asleep, I wake up to him masturbating and groaning right next to me. It just really pissed me off. I don’t know how to balance it. I get he has an overly high sex drive and mine is probably quite low but because of what things have always been like and me just wishing he’d be more normal with it, it almost makes me never want to have sex with him, which is obviously going to cause issues.

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If you’re not capable to have sex with him for whatever the reason is, it’s best if he masturbates i stead of cheating. You need to really figure out what it is for you that’s not working. If he can’t finish for whatever reason instead of shutting down try other things. We like to think that men have to be understanding of our needs n wants but so do we. If you can’t perform then don’t be mad when he masturbates. That’s healthier. His feelings are very valid and as his wife you have to validate them. Just as much as he needs to read the room, so do you. Maybe you’re not feeling fulfilled enough and it’s taking a toll on your sex drive.

Seems like part of the issue is there is no build up for you, I struggle with this too. I’m married with three kids and my husband could have sex every day multiple times a day and I’m just not like that. Especially when I’m tired from dealing with the kids all day. But something that helps get me in the mood is when my husband is very affectionate in other ways or helps take on kid duties and stuff like that, seeing him be a good dad and partner and showing me love on ways that aren sexual makes me want to be intimate maybe tell your husband you need that emotional build
Up through the day

I used to start feeling physically sick when mine would start doing it near me especially when I was already feeling exhausted and unwell.

I told him this and explained the best I could as to why.

It could be the problem of theres no build up, women need that time to build up to it or it wont be good. And its a shame cause it could be an amazing way to make you feel more settled/less sick if he did it all right. When ever I felt sick, my partner did it all perfectly and my sickness stopped for a time just because of the hormones that were releasing.

A nice warm bath. Him washing your hair for you. Or a massage every once and a while, that DOESNT have to lead to it but can.

A lot of men dont realise that if they dont build up to it properly or just do some of these things naturally. Youre not going to want it. Womens minds aren't wired rhe same way

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Loneliness

Im weeks 2 into my maternity leave (baby isn't here yet) and I'm stuck on what to do with myself. Baby room is all set, house is clean. I'd take myself out for a walk or sit in the garden but I can't walk very far till my back wrecks. I don't have any friends really to talk to/come visit me & husband is working, when he comes home he can want a bit of alone time to rewind from work which I get but I'm desperate for a bit of human interaction or something to keep me busy 🥺

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Do you ever feel like you could be ‘friendlier’

Now I don’t think I’m rude, I’m just an introvert. I wish I was more extroverted 😭

Just a couple examples. Mums at nursery I heard arranging a play date round one of their houses. My child is BOTH their friends too. But it’s fine.. I get don’t have to invite the whole class.

Then I go to a baby group (second baby) and a few of the mums met up for a Costa prior to start time, they mentioned how they text each other about something etc.

And I’m just like. Am I missing something? I have conversations with these ladies too, more so the baby group mums but still.

How do I become more extroverted?? I’m not lonely by any means. I have friends, I have family and a busy life. But still feel there’s always room for more..?

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When/How did you realise your partner was gay?

Assuming they (male) hadn’t come out yet and presented as straight.

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Masturbation

Hey mama, I think I have been masturbating a lot lately. I am in a distance relationship
I can go 5 times in a week. I dunno if it’s a bad thing or not
Please how often do y’all masturbate?

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Sex Pest Husband

I don’t know if anyone else’s husband is similar. Mine can be overly full on with sex at times. To be fair, we haven’t been doing it as much for a while, between balancing a toddler, work and commutes etc, life’s exhausting. So he raised the issue and we said we’d work on it and then shortly after we started trying for a baby which happened straight fortunately, but then my sickness set in soon after which meant it died off again. But he gets in these moods, which I can tell he’s in by the moment I look at him because he just looks different in his eyes, the way he speaks etc he just acts differently and he usually says he “feels anxious or off” but I know it’s sexual and I immediately shut down because in the past (especially if he’d been drinking too) he’d want to have sex and then end up not being able to finish (which only happens in these moods) and he’d persist for hours which I’d obviously get over and stop because at that point it’s not even enjoyable but then he’d just keep trying. So now when I notice that mood, I don’t even engage in starting because I know what happens. Anyway, last night in bed (he came home from work in that strange mood) he started grabbing me (as always, never get affection unless he wants something) and I’d been quite sick so I said obviously it’s not the time and he reckons he “can’t tell when is” read the room man. Anyway, then like an hour later or so after I’d fallen asleep, I wake up to him masturbating and groaning right next to me. It just really pissed me off. I don’t know how to balance it. I get he has an overly high sex drive and mine is probably quite low but because of what things have always been like and me just wishing he’d be more normal with it, it almost makes me never want to have sex with him, which is obviously going to cause issues.

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