Not sure whether to continue in the Marriage
I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 2 years in September. We have always been close and pretty much best friends but also had loads of issues surrounding heated arguments as a result of him being self defensive or not acknowledging when he has done something to upset me. We have had so many heated arguments resulting in me having panic attacks infront of him because of him denying he's doing things to upset me and literally refusing to admit his wrongs. The reason it is important to me that he acknowledges and admits is so that it doesn't keep happening over and over again and I'm left having to ruin my mental health just accepting it. We've had conversations countless tomes where in the end he will always admit where he went wrong but that is once he caused me hyperventilation, panic attacks, lashing out and kicking him out. He's said over and over again he will do better with admitting and acknowledging but years later, here we are dealing with the same issue but now we have a baby in the middle of it. I have high blood pressure and all of this is making it so much worse and I keep telling him but he never makes permanent change and Always fails to admit in the moment. Guys, I'm absolutely heart broken because I put my whole life into this relationship and have given up my career and my opportunity to move abroad for work opportunities, we've moved 2 hours away from family and friends so I have no support system and not sure how I'll support myself and my son without him but I can't cope with this much longer. It seems I'm fighting for something he's not and it hurts so bad because it's my fault for giving him so many chances. Has anyone else been through this? What would you suggest? Thanks in advance
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Just to add, we have tried couples therapy twice and nothing changes permanently, it's always temporary and then he goes right back to the same shit. He's a nice guy in general and helps around the house without me having to ask and is a decent dad but putting me through this and our baby having to be in the room because of these constant arguments is too much and its not fair. No matter how much he appears to hurt me and affect our son, he doesn't ever stop this issue. I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to do
Omg, reading this, like my life story. However, in my case my husband walked out: twice First time when my daughter was 2yrs old and my son 3 months. Tried to get together. Walked out just a week before moving the house. (All documents for 3 months waiting were finally done). Now children are 6yrs and soon to be 4yrs. All the words of him saying: " im a changed man", seems to melt away like ice cream in the sun. Hugs 🫂
I was in the exact same place as you lovely, tried everything but he just couldn't see past his narriscistic ways and thought he was perfect so one day after 7 years I just decided for my own health and safety that I was leaving him and it was the best thing I've ever done. I focused on myself and my little one and everyone could see how healthy and happy I looked and back to my normal self.
Probably don't want to hear it but if you're not happy leave him. You've tried to make it work and it's not working so you take control and do something about it. Find a passion, new career something to throw yourself into and just focus on yours and your children's life. You won't look back!
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