Need some reassurance I’m not crazy
Yesterday was my baby daughter’s baptism. I have a 20 year old step daughter. She’s been staying at my mother in law’s house since college is out because she is able to use my mother in law’s car to drive around. When my step daughter got her work schedule at the ice cream place last week she called me and said she was put on to work the baby’s baptism even though she requested off. I said it was probably an oversight, call your boss asap and let her know. Well she told my mother in law she didn’t want to go to the baptism anyway because she didn’t want to be around her father, my husband. (There has been some jealousy since baby has been born) so she never had her schedule changed. My mother in law told me she will tell her she needs to call out or find her own way to work (because she wouldn’t have my mother in laws car) because I informed her how upset I would be considering I do A LOT for my SD. Day of the baptism I get told step daughter pushed work back to 3pm leaving exactly a half hour for her to come back to the house after the baptism. They came with a family friend/neighbor. Were at our home for a half hour after the baptism, took pictures, ate and then left. I’m so upset with not only my SD but my mother in law. There were so many other ways that could have been handled. My SD could have ubered to work. They could have taken two cars. My SD could have called out like my mother in law said she was going to tell her to do. She could have atleast pushed work to 5 so she could be here for 2 hours. I feel like my mother in law didn’t want to be here either and used it as her excuse to leave “oh I need to bring her to work” … no you don’t… she drives your car lol. My mother in law has been calling me all day and texting me and quite honestly I don’t know what to say to her. We get along quite well and talk daily but I’m so upset. They were the only other guests invited besides the god parents. I could have saved so much money, time, energy and we could have just taken the god parents to a nice restaurant for cheaper than what I spent to make the day so special. Not to mention my baby is named after my mother in law, and wore my mother in laws original baptism dress from 67 years ago.
I’m currently 7 months pregnant. Just to give some background information, I’m not in the best point in my life, I’m 26 with no job, no working car and still living at home. Despite my personal setbacks I have a lot of support from my
Family. My baby’s father hasn’t been involved with the pregnancy. He never shows up to anything (appointments, gender reveal, baby shower etc.) and hasn’t checked up on me for a while. At first he would message me every other day sometimes week to check in. He stopped when I was around 4 months. Despite him not checking in, I give him and his mother updates every so often. I recently gave them both a 30 week update. He never responded but his mother told me that he wants a dna test and that he doesn’t want to be a father. He has never denied that it was his baby, this is the first time I’m hearing anything about this and he told me from the beginning that it was my choice and he’ll be there for me in whatever I chose. A day goes by I asked his mother if she knows how I can get in touch with him to discuss everything and I was told that he refuses to talk to me because I blocked him ( which I did, I’ve blocked him twice in my whole pregnancy. It was in the early months of my pregnancy. We would argue and I would block him for a few days) and because I left him stranded at work (this happened before I found out I was pregnant). I asked the mom how were we supposed to go forward with the dna test if he refuses to talk to me. She said she doesn’t know what to tell me and to keep her out of it. Now I’m debating whether or not I should put him on child support. He’s 100% the father and I’m pretty sure he knows that. It’s just I don’t know if it’s worth it. All I want is for him to know that it’s his baby and to stop running away from his responsibilities. I want him to have some type of obligation to our son. I also think it’s crazy how he went from “you’re keeping the baby away from me” “I’m not like my dad, I take care of my kids” to not wanting to communicate and denying our son. And again he has never expressed any of this to me. My mom says not to go through with it because family court is a hassle and if he wants to run away from being a father let him. I just don’t think it’s fair to our son. Our son deserves to have two parents and deserves to know who his father is (even if he’s not the best). I don’t want my son growing up feeling like he wasn’t enough.
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