Birthday money

Hello, I found out my boyfriend sent his female colleague £50 for her 30th birthday as she was also going on holiday so said it was for that too. They worked together for 6 years but he doesn't work there anymore. He didnt tell me he sent her money. Hes really kind and generous but its annoying me he didn't tell me and it felt like a secret. Do we think this is odd?

7

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

how did you find out?

if they were good friends or got on well at work i wouldn’t really think it’s that odd.

It also depends how much he earns and what is your financial situation..
£50 for someone who’s having 80k on debit card is not same as for someone who has £1k there…
I personally think it is odd.. and I don’t like it.. but I also know my partner is completely same and would give anything… even he doesn’t have it for himself… so it really depends:/ is she single? Or in relationship?

It seems a lot but then I soend £30 on my own mum. That said what does he spend on other friends? What does he spend on her usually?

He does earn quite a lot of money so financially its not an issue. Think shes seeing someone but been very on and off. He is very kind and I dont think he would have thought much of it but i cant get it out of my head. I just wish he had told me. If they still worked together then it might have felt less odd as it could have been a work gift.
Ive always been a bit jealous of their friendship but not sure why.

She messages him and asks for help with things like admin and bills etc too.

Friendships fine, birthday present fine, the one that i find odd is bills. And keeping it secret?? Was it really a secret or more of a its none of your business? Like why do you need to know what friends hes buying birthday gifts for?

in our community

Longwood Gardens 🌼

Hey ladies!
I’ve been visiting Longwood a lot lately, thought I’d extend the invite! I’ll cover the tickets 🎫 (I have benefits). I love packing the wagon and just strolling for hours. Let’s get our sweat bands on and this work out in OR just picnic, pictures and stroll 🩵 Also been wanting to check out Morris Arboretum, I have benefits for there as wellll. ✨

8

10

Realizing how one sided your relationships really are

I am pregnant with my first and struggling with a lot of sudden clarity. It's like I am seeing reality for the first time in so many ways!! Some good some not so easy. I am realizing my friendships are one sided, I am an audience for them and they do not see me. All the social things are for mom's, not really pregnant women with no kids so a lot of those doors feel closed right now for making new friends. I am realizing that I am repeating old patterns, and recognizing a lot of old trauma resurfacing. I have restarted therapy but... therapy doesn't change the present situation ya know? This is hard and it is lonely. I know it's time to be a mom and establish boundaries which I thought I was good at but this is next level.

5

Birthday money

Hello, I found out my boyfriend sent his female colleague £50 for her 30th birthday as she was also going on holiday so said it was for that too. They worked together for 6 years but he doesn't work there anymore. He didnt tell me he sent her money. Hes really kind and generous but its annoying me he didn't tell me and it felt like a secret. Do we think this is odd?

7

Hmmm

Hey do y'all husband let y'all talk to male like have male friends ? it's always been easy for me to have male friend but I do have a lot female friend but my husband make it seems like it's a date if a men talk to me

11