Toddler and newborn

Is anyone else struggling to deal with their toddler since baby arrived? I’m a SAHM and have a 2 (almost 3 year old) and I’m losing my patience much quicker at the moment! I genuinely think he doesn’t listen to a single word I say or follow directions which has now been amplified by having another child to take care of.
I will get him showered and dressed to go out and he will just take all of his clothes off and then when I dress him again he repeats it over and over as if it’s the funniest game on earth. Getting out is becoming nearly impossible, I ask him what he wants for lunch, make that exact thing, and he refuses to eat it. He’s asking me for something every 2 seconds (especially whilst feeding the baby) and cannot wait even for me to put baby in his crib so I can get something for him, he just finds a step and starts rummaging through kitchen cupboards, putting the bath on and helping himself to things.
When we do go out he runs off (which he has always done and it’s been a huge struggle for me) and actually will not stop unless physically grabbed, to the point he will run into the roads. I have tried to be firmer, I stay consistent on boundaries, but I’m not sure what else to do.
He’s now started biting me at home too.
I’m finding the newborn is like a holiday compared to this! The constant bargaining, battles, and defiance is really getting me down!
He is very kind and gentle with his baby brother and does have a lovely temperament he is just incredibly busy (I’m almost certain he has ADHD) he still doesn’t sleep, and cannot seem to listen.
Anyone else finding this stage really hard?

(For context we don’t have any childcare and he doesn’t really have any screen time so I doubt it’s that effecting his behaviour)

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Do you have time with just the toddler totally away from the baby?

We have similar struggles around food (asks constantly for toast you make the toast and he’ll throw it on the floor) and wanting something as soon as the baby is being fed.. getting dressed is often a meltdown so huge it’s not worth the battle.. huge huge emotions. I have made a cupboard in the kitchen full of snacks that he can help himself to if I’m busy which has helped somewhat.. he’ll go and help himself and bring it to me to open.

& if you sit back and watch him he’s just crying for my attention. Every time yesterday I’d pick the baby up he’d throw his teddy down the side of the bed and scream ‘help me’ at me. I make a real real effort every day to carve out time for him well away from baby that’s just for me and him.

As tough as it is for us.. their whole world has been turned upside down so they try to cling to control and attention where they can x

Same problem, i have started to get inpatient and irriated quickly! I dont look forward to the day ahead anymore, i just want it to end and go to bed, in which my 2 year old gets up inbetween and i get scared thinking she will fully wake up and i wont be able to sleep!

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