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Stay At Home Mamas 🤍

Rant (sorry it’s long)

Just need to get on here and rant. Not really looking for advice, just need to get feelings off my chest.

I have been a SAHM since we had our second baby. She is four months old and going through a sleep regression. My other daughter is almost 4, and has some behavior issues. Nothing has been diagnosed, but I’m almost positive she has ADHD.

Recently, my husband has had to start a second job so we can stay on top of expenses. I could go back to work, but my paycheck would just simply pay for daycare and at that point it’s not worth it.

I do love being able to spend time with my children, especially with my oldest starting preschool soon and previous bad experience with daycare. It just seems like the better choice, or at least I thought it was.

However, I think I’m reaching my breaking point. I am alone with my kids for almost 16 hours a day. My husband comes home for at most an hour between his jobs. He works one job from 7 am to at least 4 pm if not later, and goes to the second job at 6 pm and he’s there until midnight or later most nights.

He hasn’t had a day off in three weeks. He works 7 days a week. I am grateful he’s willing to do that, but it’s put me in a position where I don’t know how to handle myself.

My oldest daughter has been having almost violent outbursts. She screams and whines almost all day. She seems to always ask me to do things for her when I’m busy feeding or changing her sister. Her latest thing is waking her sister up every single time she falls asleep for a nap.

I am exhausted, my four month old is exhausted and I’m sure my oldest is exhausted too as she’s not sleeping at night now.

I am to the point where I am yelling at my oldest every day because she keeps pushing my buttons and doing things she knows are wrong. I’m sure it’s just for attention, but I don’t know how to give her the attention she wants when I’m busy with the baby.

My husband used to help with bedtime every night and put our oldest to bed, but now he’s not here. So I’m on my own with two kids. Add in the sleep regression the baby is going through and it just makes for a really overwhelming situation for me.

I don’t know how to control myself at this point because I don’t get breaks from my kids. I love them, but I am the only one who takes care of them. When my husband is home, he’s usually sleeping because he’s exhausted from his jobs. I understand that, but I’m to the point where I want to just leave him.

I feel like a single parent again and I don’t know how to handle it.

I just need a break.