My nan pressuring me to potty train my son

He’ll be 3 in a couple months and she says as he’ll be starting nursery soon that he needs to be potty trained before then and started trying to give ideas.

But we have tried and even got 3 potties in our house (one that goes on the toilet and 2 floor ones), he has never had any interest in them and we have been trying to sit him in them (sometimes not the most consistent I will admit) and he screams.

We have done the no nappy on at all and that just ended up with him peeing 7 times on the floor and we were trying to catch him to go on the potty too, but nothing. At one point he even went to splash in it and even had poop down his leg.

Zero interest in going on the potty, if he’s distracted and sat on it and does eventually pee in it, he doesn’t react to any praise and has even cried because he did pee.

I’ve even tried to say he can get a sticker if he goes toilet on the potty and that didn’t work.

in our community

Partner

nothing changes for men, but everything has to change for the woman. He is selfish.

I have a 1-month-old and a 2.5-year-old. I’m not breastfeeding, but I’m constantly doing everything for the baby. He helps with bedtime for the toddler and bath time. I cook and clean. I have to ask for help. For example, I was poorly with mastitis and had to ask him to come up to bed early to be ready for the first night feed instead of me waking up. (I fell asleep at 7:30 with the baby.) I feel like I shouldn’t have even needed to ask.

My toddler wakes up anywhere from 5am, and the baby also stirs from wind at 4am and goes back to sleep whenever he feels like it. So I need to deal with my toddler and a crying baby at the same time. My toddler won’t go back to sleep if he hears his brother crying, and my partner just left for the gym.

I said to him, “If you’re awake, you should maybe take the baby so I can get some more sleep, and this is where you can be selfish.”

He said his body was feeling tight. Then I said, “Whatever, just go anyway.” He then came back up saying, “I cba with this, just give me the baby!” — making me feel like I should feel bad because I want sleep before he goes to work.

Am I in the wrong for thinking the gym can just do one or if he can’t be bothered to go at night when our toddler is fully asleep and doesn’t wake up, then that’s his problem. That he should just actually think about the whole family needs right now. Like if my toddler wakes before 6 he’s going to be exhausted because I won’t be able to get him back to sleep with a crying baby therefore everyone is going to be exhausted and tapped out by 3pm

Edit - suggested going in evening and all I got is that’s definitely not happening so I need to just like it 🤷‍♀️

Probably not gonna read this, but I just need a minute. Literally.

So we got into an argument over the fact that when he comes home he’ll pick up the house a bit for like maybe 20 mins and then go shower and then goes down stairs for 1.5 hour to 2 hours to smoke in the car. He’ll talk to his brothers and smoke, or just scroll on TikTok and smoke. But when I get off work I either immediately go to tend to our daughter, or finish cooking, if not clean, or do homework. I’ll either bathe her or just get her ready for bed and play with her until she’s tired around 9 pm. I get off work at 8 pm (11 am -8 ) and he works at 8am- 6 with a hour drive back home. The whole time I work I’m also providing childcare. And our daughter has been teething so it’s been a lot of screaming , and whining. So I try to provide as much comfort through out the day, while also preparing her breakfast, lunch and dinner, all while working from home in sales being on calls, also dealing with people and talking to people all day. On his way out I explained to him to please get her because she’s been screaming for the past hour to 1.5 while I been working. This was 5 minutes before I clocked out. I knew if he walked out that door, by the time he came back all he had to do was turn on his ps5 to play 2k or “want to spend time together” but atp I’ve done everything and I finally got the moment to start to decompress. I explained to him I’d rather have him smoke and do all that when she’s in bed. He says he wanted to do it before you get off so we can spend time together. So I explained, That it’s not fair you get to have time alone and I don’t get any. He’s always saying “ just cause I’m smoking downstairs, doesn’t mean I’m having alone time.” But except it does. I explained “you get peace and quiet.” “You get to have a moment to yourself without having to do anything”. It comes to the point where I just wish I can also go down and smoke and have alone time away from everyone too. But I don’t smoke. Me saying that to him suddenly means I just want to be away from the family. Which I don’t, I just want alone time too. Where I’m not needed, or have responsibilities to think about just for a moment. It’s not fair that he gets to have time to decompress and I don’t because by the time he’s come back upstairs, ive done it all and finally layed in my own bed. Then he comes in, and expects to spend time with him. When I haven’t had any chance to spend time with myself. Don’t get me started on what that spending time actually consists of. At least what he tries to make it consist of, but I’m constantly fighting him off. Then I feel bad about that. Ugh.

Would I be unreasonable for saying no to this?

My 10 year old daughter has 4a/b hair and I did her hair in single plaits 4 days ago after finally having the energy to do it again following a really stressful few weeks with her health and a hospital stay. Normally I redo her hair every 2 weeks, take down, wash, detangle, and style everything myself.

Her dad (my ex partner) now wants me to take the style out today so he can take her to a braider over the weekend before they go on holiday next week. The thing is her hair will still looks perfectly neat, and today is a work night for me. Taking the plaits out alone will take around an hour and then I’d still need to sort her hair for school tomorrow.

I think what’s frustrating me is that during his weeks he doesn’t really maintain her hair or take her to get it done unless there’s a holiday or occasion involved, so this feels like extra work being added onto me unnecessarily when I literally just did her hair.

Would you take it out or leave it as it is?

People with 3 kids, how does it work for hotel rooms when traveling?

Do you have to pay extra? You need to get 2 rooms?

What do you eat?

For those of you who give baby anything you eat. What exactly are you eating? What age did you give your baby what you ate? And what sort of spices do you use? I’d love to give baby what we eat but I’m struggling with it as we eat a lot of salads, Indian and food with lots of different spices.

Rant (sorry it’s long)

Just need to get on here and rant. Not really looking for advice, just need to get feelings off my chest.

I have been a SAHM since we had our second baby. She is four months old and going through a sleep regression. My other daughter is almost 4, and has some behavior issues. Nothing has been diagnosed, but I’m almost positive she has ADHD.

Recently, my husband has had to start a second job so we can stay on top of expenses. I could go back to work, but my paycheck would just simply pay for daycare and at that point it’s not worth it.

I do love being able to spend time with my children, especially with my oldest starting preschool soon and previous bad experience with daycare. It just seems like the better choice, or at least I thought it was.

However, I think I’m reaching my breaking point. I am alone with my kids for almost 16 hours a day. My husband comes home for at most an hour between his jobs. He works one job from 7 am to at least 4 pm if not later, and goes to the second job at 6 pm and he’s there until midnight or later most nights.

He hasn’t had a day off in three weeks. He works 7 days a week. I am grateful he’s willing to do that, but it’s put me in a position where I don’t know how to handle myself.

My oldest daughter has been having almost violent outbursts. She screams and whines almost all day. She seems to always ask me to do things for her when I’m busy feeding or changing her sister. Her latest thing is waking her sister up every single time she falls asleep for a nap.

I am exhausted, my four month old is exhausted and I’m sure my oldest is exhausted too as she’s not sleeping at night now.

I am to the point where I am yelling at my oldest every day because she keeps pushing my buttons and doing things she knows are wrong. I’m sure it’s just for attention, but I don’t know how to give her the attention she wants when I’m busy with the baby.

My husband used to help with bedtime every night and put our oldest to bed, but now he’s not here. So I’m on my own with two kids. Add in the sleep regression the baby is going through and it just makes for a really overwhelming situation for me.

I don’t know how to control myself at this point because I don’t get breaks from my kids. I love them, but I am the only one who takes care of them. When my husband is home, he’s usually sleeping because he’s exhausted from his jobs. I understand that, but I’m to the point where I want to just leave him.

I feel like a single parent again and I don’t know how to handle it.

I just need a break.