Is it just us?! Is it just me !?!

My partner is great in many ways but one thing that causes issues with us is the spend on the children. He says they don't need things and because he doesn't think they need them I foot the bill. This is the same for clothes , shoes, birthdays etc. He is naturally more frugal than me and in some ways I get it.

But I'm just annoyed that it's either the kids go without or I pay for it. They are by no means spoilt. We have had very different upbringings.

Does anyone else have a similar issue. Not sure how to navigate it, we need to as it's a recurring argument.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Could you agree to set a side a budget for the nice things, and negotiate between what he thinks is acceptable, and what you’d like and meet in the middle??? That seems fair! The kids shouldn’t go without but you shouldn’t be footing it all either!

Have you tried both contributing an agreed amount that you set aside for the kids each month that would seem reasonable to him but then you take the lead on what you need to be spending it on. That way he’s contributing but if it’s not an area he’s particularly interested in then he doesn’t subsequently need to get involved any further.

As a couple with children (are living together) , id imagine money would be shared . That's how me n my husband do it , maybe meet in the middle and say you buy half he pays the other half ?if living together how are the other bills worked out ?

I can’t relate I’m sorry, my partner and I have a shared bank account. It’s also not always about whether a child NEEDS something, if it is nice for them to have it and you can afford it then why not. Especially as like you said they aren’t spoilt. Maybe you should open a joint account for spending on the children and agree to a figure that you both put in monthly?

We have a joint account but that's for bills and food shopping etc. We agreed because I get the child benefit that I would pay for what they need but honestly I'm spending over the child benefit. For example for birthdays he thinks they should just get 1 thing and I don't agree. I think they can get things they need. wish we had gone into more detail about parenting and expectations before we had children. We disagree on so many things.

in our community

Am I over reacting?!

I’ve been back to work, and DD in nursery for 3 weeks. She does 2 days. My husband drops her off and my mam usually collects her around 3pm.

Firstly, I have nappies and wipes in her bag so my mam has some when she picks her up. Nursery has the option to use their own nappies and wipes to which I said yes. They keep using the ones in the bag and asking us to send in more. I’ve told them twice now that they should be using nursery ones.

Today, when my mam collected her, she said her face was covered in snot and my mam had to ask for the wipes (which had been taken out of her bag) so she could wipe her face. When I’ve picked her up from my mams, she’s got a dummy which isn’t hers and her dirty clothes aren’t in her bag. Her dummy clip is always missing too.

Am I over reacting to call them tomorrow and tell them again to stop using the nappies/wipes in her bag and that she’s often not coming home with everything she should be.

I just don’t want to be THAT parent 🤦🏻‍♀️

Nursery

I have really bad enxiety and usually try to avoid conflict as much as possible but my LO has come back from nursery with the nappy on the wrong way round and half way up her bum am I over reacting or should I say something? ( it has happened multiple times now )

Child protection services

Has anyone ever had their daycare center ring child protection services on them for your children (3yr & 1yr) having bruises? Did the daycare consult with you about where the brusing come from or straight up right child protection services.
Would you change daycare centers or keep at the same place?

I want to change as it has hurt me they couldn't ask me to start with and just straight up rang cps.

My nan pressuring me to potty train my son

He’ll be 3 in a couple months and she says as he’ll be starting nursery soon that he needs to be potty trained before then and started trying to give ideas.

But we have tried and even got 3 potties in our house (one that goes on the toilet and 2 floor ones), he has never had any interest in them and we have been trying to sit him in them (sometimes not the most consistent I will admit) and he screams.

We have done the no nappy on at all and that just ended up with him peeing 7 times on the floor and we were trying to catch him to go on the potty too, but nothing. At one point he even went to splash in it and even had poop down his leg.

Zero interest in going on the potty, if he’s distracted and sat on it and does eventually pee in it, he doesn’t react to any praise and has even cried because he did pee.

I’ve even tried to say he can get a sticker if he goes toilet on the potty and that didn’t work.

Is it ok if I want to hang with the mom but not her kid......

From my child's preschool there was a girl we had a playdate with and I click well with her mom but our kids don't have a good time. Both playdates, her child wouldn't say hi to my daughter, then ran off, she came back then she wanted to play. Then during play while we're watching them she said my child hit her with a tree branch. My child was literally sitting down on the ground on the other side nowhere near her . At the end my daughter gave her a hug and this child stood there with her arms to her side and looking off in the distance. My child looked so hurt, I absolutely will not do that again. But I like her Mom, can I ask her for lunch or just let them go. ?

Would you take your toddler to a family member’s funeral?

It is my grandads funeral coming up, i wasn’t planning on bringing my 22 month old but my nan said she would like him there. He would be sat in a pushchair the whole time and i’d keep him occupied with some quiet toys like a doodle pad thing.

I think he will be a good distraction for people and it will be lovely seeing his smiley face. But also, is he too young? Will he know whats happening? Will it scare him? It isn’t an open casket. He will just see the coffin with flowers on top, and obviously people being very sad.

I know there will be lots of mixed views, but wondering what peoples thoughts were?

My sister is taking her 12 week old and my other sister is taking her 7 month old.. but obviously they won’t know anything at all.