Nursery screentime

My 2.5 year old goes to nursery, a Grandir group one which is new for him since Jan when we moved areas. He came home wanting to listen to the wiggle song by danny go and new all of the moves. I assumed he learnt this at nursery and when i showed a short clip or the video he didnt bat an eyelid. I asked his key worker and she said when they do dancing they sometimes show the youtube video. I think this is totally unacceptable. I assumed nurseries are completely screen free. I’m not paying a silly amount of money for my child to be infront of a screen with education professionals in a day care setting. They aren’t tired parents who need a break! Has anyone experienced this before and what did you do? Thank you!

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My son's nursery doesn't have any screen time to my knowledge and if they do the TV would have to be wheeled in like when we were kids at school as every time I've gone in there I've seen no evidence of one... When I was viewing nurseries I was horrified that a supposed Montessori nursery had a huge TV mounted on the wall... Supposedly for dancing time. It was on when I viewed and yes it was showing a dancing video but ALL the toddlers were gathered in front of it and none were playing. Suffice to say we didn't go to that nursery!

I would find out how long the TV is on for. If it's 20 mins a day then I suppose it's not the end of the world but if it's just on then I would worry. I would also be asking how supervised is it as we all know the dangers of YouTube!

My 2 year old comes back knowing certain moves and songs, but my sister works there and I know this is from copying the older children!

I wouldn't want to think it was because they were using a screen in front of the kids though, maybe the adults watch the videos and teach the kids, but not letting the kids watch the video!

Thank you both for your replies, this is really helpful. I totally assumed screens are not used in nurseries. My son’s key worker said when they do dancing/ unable to go outside they show a clip to learn the dance. the staff should just do dancing themselves and not rely on youtube. I’m really upset by this as it sounds like its just normal. I’m largely stereotyping here, but i find the extremely yount staff think this is okay as they themselves are used to growing up in the tech era. My son loves music so i imagine he really enjoys this but the video they show is so flashy and far too engaging :(. He also kept asking me to put it on the tv at home!

My daughter's nursery have an iPad and I only found out because when I asked her what she'd been doing one day she said watching the iPad. We don't have an iPad at home so she won't have even heard the word iPad anywhere else! I asked what they watch and she said songs, Mr Tumble and the Julia Donaldson films. I messaged the nursery and they basically said they have it on briefly some days to learn signs (Mr Tumble!), sing along to nursery rhymes or for an "animated story". I felt the same! I really wish they didn't use it. It's not often though. I ask her every day "did you watch the iPad today?" And it's been weeks since she said yes.

in our community

Am I wrong for this?

My husband and I gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time since having daughter. I was pregnant so I feel like the weight I gained is different but anyways I’ve been really trying to watch what I eat and push myself to get up and move as much as possible. My daughter is very energetic so I’m pretty much chasing after her all day, I go on walks sometimes twice a day to the park and around the block before i put her to bed. I also clean our apartment and I do all this with littke to no sleep. My daughter wakes up multiple times a night and I have to help go back to sleep. I’m exhausted and so sleep deprived all the time making it really hard to get up in the morning so I have him do it. I say all this because I’m trying to encourage my husband to be more active, walk with us and eat better cause I’m genuinely worried about his health and his excuse is always “I’m tired” “I got up early with her and did errands I want to rest” I tell him that I’m exhausted too but I’m pushing myself cause I’m tired of being lazy and unhealthy and he just complains how he needs rest. He also is constantly overbearing and buying unhealthy stuff no matter how much I try to get him to stop. He’s just so stubborn and I hate seeing him like this. But on the other hand maybe I am asking too much or being rude about it?? Idk.

I'm lost

my boyfriend for the past 3 years has watched porn. I've told him time and time again that I consider it cheating, it feels the same if someone sent him nudes instead he's just searching it. recently he swore on our son he wasn't doing that again, but today I checked his history without him knowing and it goes back to Feburary of him doing this. I'm lost at this point. I don't know what else to do. I'm also a stay at home mom and don't have resources to leave. but I'm done being lied to. and I want to mention, if he wants something I give it to him. even if I'm tired or sick or whatever.

Is this a reasonable take or do you feel judged?

My opinion is that you can do whatever you want as a parent, given your circumstances and your goals. But for me, giving my baby / toddler screentime doesn’t match my personal goals as a parent. I don’t even have my phone on me when I’m with her - it’s never in my hand or my pocket. It’s either sitting on a shelf somewhere out of sight or it’s in my backpack. It definitely affects the way she interacts with me and others, and her ability to focus and not get side tracked.

Starting to come to the conclusion my daughter will be a only child, just like me 😭💔

Me and my partner have been together for almost 14 years. We waited so long to have kids, and then we went through infertility struggles for a while before finally having our daughter. I always dreamed of having a big family, at least 3 kids, and I truly thought we would build that life together.

But now, things feel so different. We barely get along anymore, and he has become such a miserable person. It feels like he’s constantly unhappy and always bringing up negative things , many of them situations that he created himself, but now he wants to play the victim in.

Before I had my daughter, I used to stay quiet and be more compliant just to keep the peace. But now that I’m older, and especially now that I’m a mother, I’m exhausted from pretending his behavior doesn’t affect me. It does affect me deeply, and I can’t keep carrying everything like this anymore.

What makes me even sadder is that I still want more children, but now I’m scared. Even if I were to go through IVF with a donor, part of me feels like he would make our lives miserable anyway. It hurts so much because the dream I had for my future and my family feels like it’s slipping away, and I feel overwhelmed and heartbroken.

Text message draft to MIL

I hate confrontation but for my own mental health, I feel I need to send this to my MIL. Would appreciate your thoughts before I send?

Hi XXX, I really appreciate you looking after XXX on Wednesdays, but I wanted to mention something so that our relationship can remain positive moving forward.

A few comments about our parenting choices recently have left me feeling like I need to defend our decisions as parents. For example, comments about his diet like “babybels are the worst thing you can possibly give him” and “sweetcorn has no nutritional value”, comparisons around breastfeeding timelines, suggestions about offering him cool drinks when he’s asking for milk, and comments about car seats such as “he’ll have to forward face soon or he’ll feel sick / it won’t be good for his hips.”

We make our parenting decisions carefully based on current guidance and research, so I’d really appreciate it if you could avoid giving unsolicited advice or negative commentary about our choices going forward. Thank you.

Mum in law making descions without consulting us

My mother in law is looking after my kids whilst we attend a family wedding on my side for 2 nights. She’s very good with the kids.
Tonight my husband phone her to confirm they were dropping the kids home on Sunday and her reply was ohh aunty and uncle are bringing them back 2hour drive) my youngest isn’t very good in the car, aunty and uncle although good with kids don’t have kids of their own and have only met the youngest once, they won’t know how to calm the baby etc. am I wrong for being pissed off that mother in law didn’t run it by us and just assumed it would be okay?