Horrible Night 🇬🇧

maybe worst night ever. i live with my baby daddy and our 8month twins, he can be the sweetest person most of the time but every time i go out he drinks and gets drunk…even if i’m just going to gym or for lunch, nothing crazy ever! today had a family wedding and he got drunk there, he went home early then when i came home he wouldnt let me in the door at first, kept opening and slamming. then i put my foot when he opened and tried to put my hand and he slammed the door on my hand. inside he kept coming up close to me and shouting at me, i sat on the bed and he pushed me off. he came and grabbed my arms pushing me into walls all over our flat, and hitting my face with a plushie. then he finally went to bed. i called the police and they came and arrested him. i feel so scared, i hv no one who can come round. i feel so sad too that it’s come to this and scared he will be so angry with me now. whatever we had will be over now i feel as there can be no going back from this. i also feel sorry for him too. i just feel lost as well, never been totally alone all night with the babies 😔😔😔😔😔😔

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Partner struggling

Hi everyone, I wanted to come on and just get some advice or see if anyone else has been in the same position. Currently I feel like I’m walking on egg shells around my partner, everything I do I get stressed that I’m doing it wrong or that it’s going to annoy him. I feel like he’s trying so hard to be a good dad and show up for our little one daily but I think he’s approached burn out and now I’m the one receiving the end of it. He apologised to me tonight and admitted that he’s struggling but I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to show up as a good partner but also not accept being treated in a mean way. Has anyone else’s partner struggled a few months in and if so, how did you help them? ☺️

Am I the only one?

My husbands family always has get togethers well it’s always at the same place (his cousins) during summer we always swim and such. But now that my kid is much more mobile (she also has a kid who’s 4) I noticed she has 0 protective anything with her pool. The only thing is a “back door open” voice and that’s it. The back door leads straight to the backyard with the big ass pool.

Now she’s a nurse so I just felt this was common sense that drowning is very much silent. Today we were over there and they acted like I was CRAZY for not allowing her to be out there without an adult I know is watching her (yes there was a group of adults outside but you can’t just assume someone is watching kids?) “she’ll be fine” and I just literally started saying “drowning is silent” “there’s nothing around that pool to stop her” “drowning happens fast” and such. I felt like a crazy mom the whole time. How does she live with that pool there daily with no care in the world? Like her kid is just out “by himself” no one actively watching him a whole trampoline right by the pool.

When my MIL was out there I STILL checked on her and my husband did too we both were saying “drowning IS SILENT”

Would you be offended if your husband said "I feel like we're being bad parents"

Referring to us struggling to cope with two children when we're out of the house and not wanting to go out because if the kids get upset we both find it really stressful. (We have a newborn and a 3yo)

Idk, like I just feel like he inadvertently called me a bad parent.. and to be clear we are very calm parents, we never yell, we always try to gentle parent, but we do both get very overwhelmed in our own ways

Do your kids answer tv show prompts?

Neither of my kids have ever responded to Miss Rachel’s “can you say mama?” Or Mickey’s “let’s count these coins” it makes kid shows less entertaining for me lol

Please help- advice. I think we are damaging our toddler

He's 2 and half and as of lately hes been so chaotic, in public and at home. He's just always doing something wrong and its gotten us to the point we are yelling at him. He cries and says daddy angry or mummy angry. And this morning I see he breaks my $650 eye glasses and so I reactively told him off and in his deep sleep he was saying mummy angry mummy angry, it broke my heart and I started crying. I dont know what to do? We have tried calm talking but he doesnt process it and takes it funny.. i am so bent that I think we have damaged him mentally and from my own past childhood trauma that is the last thing I want to do. I have been working so hard to regulate his nervous system so he doesnt end up fucked up like me. And I try so hard so he has a great childhood/life.. what can I do? Gentle parenting seems to not work on him and test our boundaries all the time which I know is normal but we can only take so much.

How to be a supportive wife?

My husband is drinking today and we both know it's going to be a bad night. The bottle is almost gone and he's listening to country music which makes him think of his kids, both passed away and still alive. I've never lost a kid so don't get me wrong I'm not being cold-hearted I understand his feelings about that, however when it comes to the kids that he still has living he is not present in their lives or his grandkid's lives. I encourage him to see them but when I do he makes up excuses about money but I try to remind him that his presence is more important than presents. In order for things to change or for your kids to accept you more you do have to show up. You can't sit around drunk with your should haves, could haves, and would haves. You have to make the change now. It's as easy as picking up the phone or even as I tried to suggest taking a road trip to go see them. I haven't been the perfect parent myself, but I'm still in my kids' lives and I speak to them often and let them know that I care and love them. I'm 5 months pregnant and it would be nice if he tried to break the cycle now before babygirl got here, but I don't see that happening. I'm tired of the bottle and these drunken nights. I want to be supportive, but I can only support you if you're actually trying. He's not. He spends more time looking for women on dating apps, trying to have "fun", being angry and putting me down than he does doing positive things that can change his circumstances. Idk like I said I'm here, I'm trying to be supportive but he makes it hard.