✨Domestic workload ✨

My husband works 4pm–1am, comes home and plays video games until 3am, then sleeps until 2pm. We have an 8-month-old and a 3-year-old, so I’m basically solo parenting all day while also trying to keep up with the house.

I told him I need one hour of alone time a day and asked if he could take over closing the kitchen at night (dishes, cleanup, etc.) because I’m drowning mentally trying to do everything myself.

His response was: “You can handle it. Moms do it all the time. My mom did and she’s fine.”

His mom also says I’m not fulfilling my duties as a wife if I can’t keep up with everything.

Am I being unreasonable for asking for help and a single hour to myself?

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I’m kinda in same boat my husband leaves at 3pm for work and doesn’t get home till some 4-5am technically supposed to be home by 2-3am and then will play video games and watch tv when he gets home and sleeps on the couch never comes go bed with us and then sleeps until time to go to work again and I’m home all day/night with our 12 week old and having to keep up with everything else

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You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Just because his mom didn't have the proper support, doesn't mean you should suffer.

He is an absolute man child! My husband works out of town and when he gets to come home he is all hands on deck and when I ask for help, he's on it. And when he worked closer to home, even when he was exhausted, he was always helpful.

You need to let him know that sadly his mom didn't get the support she deserved, but because of that thinks that it's normal if everyone lives that way. That's not normal, it's not healthy, and he isn't being a real man. Real men want to help their families even when they are tired.

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He sleeps for 11 hours each night?? Has he been to a doctor about that? I find it helpful to stop asking men if they can. We should be able to head towards the door and say, "I'll be back in an hour." If he has a legitimate reason why he can't watch the kids, he can communicate it to you in that moment. Excuses are hard to come up with in a split second, but if the excuse is legitimate, he will be able to say it clearly before you reach the door. Best time would be a little while after he wakes up. He can get ready for work while watching the kids. I mean, I'm sure his mom "did and she's fine." 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Whatt? Ewww. Fight for yourself! My husband works 12 hour shifts and when he comes home, he helps me put baby to bed and helps me cook dinner. We both watch baby during his days off and both clean. We view me being home with baby as a job. Not saying this to rub it in, I'm saying it to tell you not to settle. It's his kids too! If possible, try to set a early bedtime for the littles! It give us time to connect and have alone time! 🫶

He sounds pretty sexist. But is there a way he can watch the kids and clean for a day? Just so he can get perspective?

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