Wrong kind a break 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Does anyone else feel like everyone expects you to want a break from your kids? When in reality you want a break from all the other shit you have to do as a SAHM.. I don’t want a break from my kids, I want a break from the cooking, cleaning, laundry, food shopping, life admin and overall mental load 😭😭😭😭

We move house at the beginning of July, and my husband just suggested I go and visit his family for a change of scenery and a break.. AT THE END OF JUNE.
We have little to no help so a lot of the packing, culling through our stuff and the kids stuff will be left to me. And he wants me to take a break and go visit his family, without him or our son, but with our daughter who still breastfeeds.. and don’t get my wrong, this is all coming from a place of love of him wanting me to have a break but he’s not understanding the utter stress it’ll be for me to be away when we have so much to get sorted to move.
Not at all helped by how hot it’ll be to visit his family, and I struggle in the heat since having kids 😅😅 .. I love that he wants a break for me, but I just don’t think he’s considered the timings of it all 🫣🫣

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That is really thoughtful of your husband and yes any sort of break is appreciated but Im with you, why can't it be a break from the laundry basket or the meal planing and household chores.

Could your in law's come stay or stay nearby and help you with the kids and household bit while doing this last bit before the move.
If you say that you really appreciate the thought but actually this is what would be really helpful and you can always go and visit the in-laws at theirs after the move ?

Totally get this. We are moving house in ONE WEEK, and my husband went back to work today after his paternity and medical leave were finished (he had surgery on his ear 2.5 weeks after I gave birth to our daughter), and I have been doing all the stressing and "packing". Ive only got 3 boxes packed and gone through 5 bins of storage. Granted we are only moving across the parking lot to a big unit, but things still need to come off the walls, large items still need to be taken apart, holes need to be filled and painted, and majority of our things need to be boxed for easy transport. But he just wants to take our two walking wagons and load bins/boxes in those and walk back and forth filling and emptying bins. But that leaves everything else in our home unpacked, so I would have to load and maybe even unload cause "im better at it" while also feeding our infant and keeping our 4 year old at bay and out of the way.
He thinks its all gonna be fine and dandy, im over here stressing the hell out.

Please tell me if im over reacting! I know its only across the parking lot but we are still moving our whole house

Oh and he always wants me to sit down and take a break because im doing so much, but he just doesnt understand that I cant do that because I have to make sure everything goes smoothly because hes working until the move.
I dont think it'll go smooth at all.

Just because you stay at home doesn't mean that all responsibilities fall on you. I had the same problem when I stayed home with the kids. I have a part time job now. While that was happening I asked my husband if he could cook a few days a week and for him to start doing the grocery shopping. At first they won't get it done your way and you have to be okay with that. Talk to your husband and ask him if there are some things he is willing to take over and if he has a problem with it he gets days off too. Sahm is a full time 24/7 job. I wanted more help so I got a part time job and got the help I was wanting. My husband has stepped up a lot and I think it's because he didn't have me to be his catch all while he was home.

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What to do

I really hate this about myself but when my toddler does things like throwing water out the bath, wriggling away when I'm trying to put his nappy on, repeating things over and over when I've said no, I get a sudden anger bubble up in me. I've never acted on the anger but I have to try my absolute best and I really wish it wasn't there. I don't even want him to sense that in me as we have such a loving relationship 😔
I'm being assessed for ADHD/autism and I'm not sure if this plays a part but I'd really love to find a way to stop these feelings in the moment.

Why is it always the mother in law?

Fro the beginning of time 😩

Sad and frustrated!

I truly hate what bio mom did to the baby I have. I adopted him months ago and it hurts me because he was born a drug baby so he does have delays and that shouldn’t be on him. He’s had a couple surgeries already and he’s going to have a couple more soon and it breaks my heart everyday knowing that she did him so dirty and continued after he was born until CPS took him away😩. But I know deep down having him he’s going to have the greatest life of all! Every morning when he wakes up he’s so happy to see me and that fills my heart with joy. Even thou he has delays he’s doing so much better in my care, he’s starting to crawl even thou he’s over a year old now. He’s 17 months to be exact. But he’s doing great and that’s all that matters. Right? Sometimes I feel like I could be doing more for him but what else could I possibly do?

Identity crisis?

Is anyone else struggling with their identity? I have a toddler and a 2 month old and I’m a sahm. I realized today that I don’t do anything except for mom. I used to bake and go to the gym and be a person but I can’t even remember the last time I baked or even stepped foot in a gym. I love my kids but I feel like I’m not me anymore. My husband is also military so with him being gone and no “village” it just seems impossible to do anything for me.

Food catcher

Does anyone use one of those food catcher things that go around the high chair and is supposed to catch the food they throw overboard?
If so, which one do you use please?
I’ve seen a ‘catchy’ brand but it doesn’t look wide enough and my boy seems to have the throwing capabilities of a cricketer!
Basically I’m just reeeeeally tired of spending more time cleaning the floor and chair, than I do feeding him. 🫠

Babysitting

Are you comfortable hiring a babysitter? I don’t have any family around and my husband is comfortable letting his family watch our child but I’m not comfortable with it at all because there have been so many issues with them treating me weird in the past 12 years that I don’t want to rely on them at all. he’s been so against a babysitter because he says he doesn’t want someone randomly watching our toddler and I get that but iv expressed to him that I’m not comfortable asking my in-laws to watch them as well but he forcing it on me so iv had to leave my child with his mom to go to ultrasound appointments. Now iv had to cancel my appointment tomorrow because he assumed his mom could watch her but she has other plans because he asked last minute and it makes me rethink just hiring a babysitter because iv never wanted to leave my child with her to begin with but it was free childcare. He’s also suggested leaving the child with his sister and I said absolutely not doing that, for 1)me and the sister have had so many issues in the past and 2) she would never ask us to watch her child so why would I ask her to watch mine? and he was like well that’s her problem if she wouldn’t ask us for help but if she wants to watch ours he doesn’t have a problem with that. His family and I are just starting to rebuild a relationship after I want no contact with them for a year and he’s just so open for them to watch our child because he wants us all to get along and have a relationship. I feel like after 12 years if things were ment to be different they would be and they genuinely apologized to me and cried and asked for forgiveness but I feel like I’ll always have my guard up.. idk maybe I’m the issue atp but I’ll never be comfortable with certain things.