Husband/partner help

Do you have to ask your husband to help, or do they help without you saying? We have a toddler and mine used to be really good but lately I feel like he's become complacent and is happy with me just getting on with it. I have to ask/tell him to help. He does cleaning and a lot of the family meals plus getting baby down for naps and sleep but most other baby related stuff is me unless I tell him to do it!

in our community

Am I wrong?

My partner did something when I was 6 weeks postpartum and really unwell that caused me to have trust issues and a lot of resentment! He’s apologised but the apology is always followed with “but I can’t take it back I wish I could” he’s never done anything to actually make it up to me or make me feel like he feels bad for what he done. It feels like he cares more that he got caught out and I now treat him differently. I keep bringing it up even though it’s been months and when I do he just goes quiet or tells me I’m wrong for how I treat him, which makes me more angry! I don’t feel like I can be a single mum when my baby’s this young because I don’t have any support system other than him but I also don’t think I can be happy or at peace being with him like this.

Agree or disagree

Parents please stop sending your children to school with the idea "someone hits you, you hit them back" you are part of the problem

Should I return his father's day gift?

So, first of all, I did buy him a Father's Day gift as I normally do every year. I usually also get the kids to make him a cute card. However, this past Mother's Day, I got nothing. We went to great wolf lodge which I planned and paid for, but it was his idea since his friend and their family were going too. (He did end up giving me half the money for it after the fact) While we were there, he kept going out for smoke breaks, leaving me to tend to our 3 kids on my own so I never got a break. He also told me that they were selling mothers Day bouquets in the lobby, but he didn't feel like getting in line for them. I also feel like since then, he's been annoying me a lot and just generally not helping out around the house or with the kids. I'm kinda feeling unappreciated and that he doesn't deserve anything.

Is my husband incompetent?

Is everyone else’s husband like this or is it normal?

He changed my son’s diaper the other day and said he had a blow up. Then left his (new) shorts in the car. I didn’t realize there was literally a bunch of poop in his shorts.

He has to be told to do everything. For example, when carrying in groceries, he left the paper towels on top of the car (he knew) and I had to ask him to grab them.

Sits on the couch and watches me do our son’s laundry, clean, etc.

He leaves his clothes in the washer overnight and they stink.

Used our bath towels to clean the bathroom after washing his dog and proceeds to wash clumps of dirt and hair in the washer.

Has to be told to pickup after himself constantly.

Has to be woken up in the mornings.

Tracks in dirt all over the floors just after I mopped and has to be told to clean it up.

Etc.

Is this normal?? Is this “okay” and expected ?

What else can I do?

I’m a SAHM and my baby is 10 weeks old. I’ve got a great routine. I reset my whole house in 10 minutes each night because I tidy as I go all day everyday. I put washing on everyday so it never builds up.

To me everything is always done, always organised and always sorted yet I feel like I want to do MORE. I have the energy and the time to get more done. I love our house, it’s beautiful and we’ve decorated it exactly as I want it and it’s constantly like a ‘show home’ (described to me not by me). I love doing stuff around the house but I want it to be purposeful. Any ideas?

Should working moms have the same expectations as a SAHM?

Iv been a sahm for many years and im going back to work soon. Cooking is huge for my husband and something he always shows appreciation for. He’s a big foodie and doesn’t like eating out or frozen food. Making a big pot or spaghetti or something easy like that is something Iv never done and he hated it as a kid having to eat leftovers over and over. When I start working I’m not sure il feel like doing the kind of cooking my family is use to it after work. The closer it gets to that time il be talking to him about this but wondering if anyone thinks it should be reasonable to still keep up in the kitchen and work full time