Is my husband incompetent?

Is everyone else’s husband like this or is it normal?

He changed my son’s diaper the other day and said he had a blow up. Then left his (new) shorts in the car. I didn’t realize there was literally a bunch of poop in his shorts.

He has to be told to do everything. For example, when carrying in groceries, he left the paper towels on top of the car (he knew) and I had to ask him to grab them.

Sits on the couch and watches me do our son’s laundry, clean, etc.

He leaves his clothes in the washer overnight and they stink.

Used our bath towels to clean the bathroom after washing his dog and proceeds to wash clumps of dirt and hair in the washer.

Has to be told to pickup after himself constantly.

Has to be woken up in the mornings.

Tracks in dirt all over the floors just after I mopped and has to be told to clean it up.

Etc.

Is this normal?? Is this “okay” and expected ?

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Ummmmm why did you marry him I’m sorry this is too much

Definitely not

I forgot to add, when he’s home - we take turns changing poopy diapers. But if it’s my turn and I’m in the middle of something, he expects me to stop what I’m doing and change the diaper because it’s “my turn”. But when he’s gone, I change multiple diapers a day!

Definitely NOT okay! My husband literally helps me with EVERYTHING without being asked! Why did you marry him?

Weaponized incompetence

They did say boys go to Jupiter to get more………….🤷🏽‍♀️

No it’s not normal but lots of men do this and this is why most divorce is initiated by women. These type of men become a burden

My husband does literally all of these things as well 🤦‍♀️

If I tell him exactly what to do, he will do it, but I need to literally spell it out for him step by step and hope he’s absorbing what I’m saying. It’s definitely exhausting. I wish he was more in tune with the house/babies needs so I didn’t have to always ask

He’s a good man though and thoughtful in other ways 🤷‍♀️

Girl you are not his mom wth is going on here it sounds like we’re discussing a teenage boy

And how would they live if they were single? Single dads have to do all this and more. They’re taking advantage of you. Sometimes they look at the mum being in charge and think “oh she’s got it in control” and so they step back thinking mums in control but she’s actually really drowning and he doesn’t see that. You’re doing wayyyy too much.

in our community

Am I wrong?

My partner did something when I was 6 weeks postpartum and really unwell that caused me to have trust issues and a lot of resentment! He’s apologised but the apology is always followed with “but I can’t take it back I wish I could” he’s never done anything to actually make it up to me or make me feel like he feels bad for what he done. It feels like he cares more that he got caught out and I now treat him differently. I keep bringing it up even though it’s been months and when I do he just goes quiet or tells me I’m wrong for how I treat him, which makes me more angry! I don’t feel like I can be a single mum when my baby’s this young because I don’t have any support system other than him but I also don’t think I can be happy or at peace being with him like this.

Agree or disagree

Parents please stop sending your children to school with the idea "someone hits you, you hit them back" you are part of the problem

Should I return his father's day gift?

So, first of all, I did buy him a Father's Day gift as I normally do every year. I usually also get the kids to make him a cute card. However, this past Mother's Day, I got nothing. We went to great wolf lodge which I planned and paid for, but it was his idea since his friend and their family were going too. (He did end up giving me half the money for it after the fact) While we were there, he kept going out for smoke breaks, leaving me to tend to our 3 kids on my own so I never got a break. He also told me that they were selling mothers Day bouquets in the lobby, but he didn't feel like getting in line for them. I also feel like since then, he's been annoying me a lot and just generally not helping out around the house or with the kids. I'm kinda feeling unappreciated and that he doesn't deserve anything.

What else can I do?

I’m a SAHM and my baby is 10 weeks old. I’ve got a great routine. I reset my whole house in 10 minutes each night because I tidy as I go all day everyday. I put washing on everyday so it never builds up.

To me everything is always done, always organised and always sorted yet I feel like I want to do MORE. I have the energy and the time to get more done. I love our house, it’s beautiful and we’ve decorated it exactly as I want it and it’s constantly like a ‘show home’ (described to me not by me). I love doing stuff around the house but I want it to be purposeful. Any ideas?