Am I wrong for wanting this 1 day still even now and should I let it go and get over it?
My youngest is 17 weeks and was prem and then and I gave birth via emergency c section alone. Dispite the in laws sitting with the other children and travelling a distance to be with them all weekend he chose to have fish n chips with them and relax a few hours before coming to see me and baby, tea breaks n fag breaks too no rushing. I was seperated from baby so my friend went on as birthing partner after to be with baby until I was well enough as I aspirated and nearly died and hemorrhaged which doctors called to tell him. He then briefly visited once and I was in for 3 days n he had a whole 2 sitters n parents who do everything. I got out of hospital very unwell, sore n struggling more than ever before and i asked for one day of being in the bedroom with baby for one day uninterrupted unless he wanted to make me a cuppa and a sandwich but for him to watch the kids n do housework n keep on top of things for one day so I could put the tele on, pig put on snacks n cuddle baby for a day. He refused its been 4 months n any time I ask for this one day I cant have it. Then a family event come up and its a drive of a few hours so I asked he takes the others as his family take over n would help anyway n he wouldnt do anything and I take this day with the baby. He freaked out..how will that look to them.. I cant cope with all the other kids on my own.. I want u there. May I add my bleeding was irregular so this day I just came on so heavily I was wearing 4 pads n soaking through by each hour. He also missed mothers day and my birthday this year and keeps starting arguments over petty things. I feel like booking me and baby in at a hotel just to have that time for like 24 hours. He had no issues last minute mid crazy busy time dinner, baths, medicines n housework n cleaning n laundry time 3 days in a row saying his popping out for a motorbike ride 3:30pm until 9/10pm then come back n complained i didnt out effort into dinner. Is it just expected that the woman cant have time? I also booked a pedicure (first one in 2 years) home visit one and asked him to be out n take the toddler he out the toddler to bed screaming 5 mins after the lady arrived n then went the opposite end n took a nap in the bedroom (one level home) he just ignored her so I couldnt get 1 hour either. He thinks theres nothing wrong with what I done because its life that I dont get pamper time as apparently he doesnt (does) 2 hour showers n 1 hour poops a day like give me strength.
Am I wrong for still craving that one day of peace and rest just one day? Is it too late and should I let it all go n get over it now?
Baby constantly feeding
My baby is just under 3 weeks old and it feels like he’s constantly wanting to be fed. He’ll do his hunger cues (sticking tongue out, hands to face, sucking motion with his mouth) almost immediately after feeding - like within 10 mins. He can feed for 40mins - 1hr30 at a time like constantly sucking, where he might settle for an hour, but the shorter 15-20min feeds where he takes himself off the boob or falls asleep, he will start his hunger cues/start screaming within 10 mins.
He’s doing lots of wees and poos- about 6 -8 dirty nappies a day and even more heavy wees so I don’t think he’s actually hungry?
I’m so overwhelmed as to what to do because I just can’t put him down and my nipples are so sore.
We’ve just decided to start trying for baby #2 but since all we do is argue
Maybe it's just a strange coincidence, but a couple of months ago my husband and I had the most amazing weekend together. We really connected, had some deep heart to heart conversations, and ultimately decided that we wanted to grow our family. 🥰
For about a week, we were both so excited. Then, out of nowhere, we started bickering and arguing constantly. Don't get me wrong we argue like any normal couple from time to time, but this feels different. It feels more intense than our usual disagreements.
Of course, I plan to talk to him about it and figure out what's going on, but it's frustrating that this has happened now, of all times. We've never really let things get to this point before. It's affecting me more than I'd like to admit. I'm losing sleep over it because, at our core, we're still very much in love. After all, we were excited enough to start trying for another baby. But lately, the way we've been communicating, you'd think we couldn't stand each other.
It's also not exactly helping our intimacy, so there's definitely no baby making happening right now!
Do you think deciding to try for another baby could have unintentionally put pressure on us and brought underlying issues to the surface? I genuinely can't work it out.
From my perspective, he's suddenly started annoying me more than usual. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I know I can be guilty of picking battles that probably aren't worth fighting. That's something I need to take responsibility for.
His weakness is that if he disagrees with something I've said, he can become quite defensive. He also tends to present his opinions as facts, which drives me absolutely mad.
I know this probably sounds toxic when written down, but I promise we're actually a loving couple. I adore him. He's a wonderful husband, an amazing father, and I can't imagine growing old without him or not having more babies with this man.
So now I'm wondering, should we put baby number two on hold for a while, or stick to the plan? We're definitely not talking about separating here, and I don't want to put our future family plans on hold because of a few months of petty arguments.
What would you do? Have you been here before?? Did you put off growing a family while you navigated a rocky patch?
