Child support (please no judging)

this was someone who I had romantic intentions with, and our past was also a romantic involvement. please don’t think by one night stand I mean someone I was just messing around with and only just met! It was just our first and only time being sexually involved.

I think your outlook on this is quite mature and reasonable tbh and I don't think you have to defend your actions! Even if it was a random one night stand, these things happen sometimes.
This thing has happened and you've both made your choices, I agree with you that it wouldn't be fair to make him pay (in the same way it wouldn't be right or fair for him to try to pressure you into a termination). Personally, I'd respect his choice, let him get on with his life and ignore other people who aren't involved in this situation. If this is what you've decided and you're happy with it, that's all that matters. Congrats! Hope you have a happy, healthy pregnancy 🫶🏻

I would ask him to sign away his rights, or not list him on the birth certificate if he doesn’t want to be involved at all and especially since he asked for an abortion early on and I went through with the pregnancy anyways. If you go for child support you’re also opening the door for him having legal rights like visitation and part time custody and idk, just me personally I think a kid deserves to know their biological father and have that financial support so I would get the abortion to avoid the all around pain of everyone involved but if I for some reason went through with the pregnancy I think it’s best to just cut him out of the picture completely and not seek child support if you don’t know him well enough to trust him as a father. Having no dad is often less painful than one that’s uncommitted

I personally don’t think you should ask for support if he didn’t want the kid in the first place. But I would also protect myself, not having him on birth certificate will protect you in time to come if he decides he is grown up enough to want to be the in kids life and dictate what goes on ect … trust me I have been in and out of court the past year because of this shit. Please protect yourself legally that he has no legal say or input… trust me it does happen

I had a similar situation apart from my one night stand was with someone I had just met 😬 poster girl for “you only have to have sex once”
It’s totally your choice what you want to do but I had the same mindset as you. I made the choice to keep my little boy despite knowing the father didn’t want me to go ahead, so I’d already accepted that I would be 100% financially responsible.

Yeah i think you either do child support or make sure he has no claim so that he doesnt just suddenly turn around in the future to try and take the child for whatever reason. Can always just let him know that youre happy either way as you know he didnt want the baby but he either doesnt go on the birth certificate and has no rights or he can go on the certificate and pay support

I don’t think you should be claiming against a man that doesn’t wanna be involved. I’ve never claimed against my daughters dad as he didn’t really wanna be involved from the get go so I couldn’t imagine trying to get someone to pay for a child they didn’t want

I think your heart is in the right place, but he is equally as responsible as you for creating the child in the first place. He consented to the possibility of pregnancy when he had sex with you. The right thing for him to do would be to step up and be a part of his son or daughter's life; no child deserves to grow up without a father. At this point, it's not about what's fair to the man, it's about what's fair for your child. Maybe as the pregnancy progresses, his heart will soften. Send him pictures of the ultrasound, tell him what names you're thinking about. At some point it'll hit him that he has a son or daughter, and it's his decision whether or not he wants to abandon that child. If he does, maybe the nice thing to do would be to try to come to some sort of agreement on an amount instead of letting the courts put him through the wringer. That way you can at least tell your child when they're older "he at least supported us financially" instead of "he didn't do jack shit for us your whole life"