The loneliness of being the only mum in the group
Does anyone else feel like becoming a mum has made you an outsider in your own friend group?
I love my friends, but I’m the only mum among them. Lately it’s been quietly exhausting, I’m always the one who has to ask for the plan to change. “Can we meet somewhere a bit closer? Or even in the middle? Can we meet earlier because I can’t do dinners right now? Can we meet somewhere I can take the baby?” Every single time, it falls on me to raise it, because no one else has to think about it. While I understand that it’s hard to think about someone’s circumstances when you haven’t experienced them, is it wrong for me to expect a little more consideration?
This weekend it was a suggested meet up over an hour and twenty minutes away. Before my daughter, I wouldn’t have batted an eye at, but now I have to think about how fast I can get back if she needs me. I just sat there wondering, am I overreacting or have I just become an afterthought?
The loneliness of being the only mum in a group is so specific and so hard to explain, especially to my friends who are in completely different chapter of their lives. You’re surrounded by people who love you, and still feel completely unseen.
Anyone else navigating this?
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Literally in the same boat..in fact I came to a realization that people I thought were my friends for about 6-7 years are actually more like acquaintances or “friendships of convenience”… not their fault of course..not mine either..just the way the world has treated moms sadly..I often think about how I was the same towards other friends who became moms and I want to apologize to them so badly for not being more thoughtful or doing more when I could have..
you are not over thinking at all…it’s ridiculous how as a society we’ve conditioned people to ignore/think so little about mothers/motherhood/matrescence..
Yes me
I have this with my childless friends, and we’ve drifted tbf to the point where I’m very isolated, but I still consider them friends. I genuinely don’t think people understand the intricacies of having a child before having one themselves. I don’t blame them for that, I was no different when I was childless and selfish. I just can’t wait until they have kids and realise how isolating it is and when they do, I’ll be there for them. It’ll be nice to have my friends back in term of having our lives aligned again.
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