Being a sahm

How does everyone cope with being a sahm I am considering becoming one as I’m so done with work I’m about to go on maternity leave for the second time.

Little context I went on maternity with my first and absolutely loved being home with my little one then went back to work 3 days a week when first was 8months old and felt like I was missing out on a lot but luckily I got to see my first do all his first I’m glad for that, now I’ve switched jobs and they don’t allow hours change so would have to go back to doing the same hours as before maternity leave but this second time round feel like I’m gonna miss out as my job don’t allow hours changes so feel like I’m gonna miss more this time round.

My partner has said he would support me if I do decide to become a sahm but I’ve always said to myself that I don’t wanna rely on anyone but lately I feel like I might have to change my mind on relying on someone else, he also said he would change his job to make sure we have enough money to support my choice.

Could you let me know how you cope and why you choose to be a sahm I need positive and negative feedback for this please.

If u don’t feel comfortable with commenting under this post please let me know and I’ll message you privately.

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I choose it mostly because im paranoid about daycares and leaving my kids with someone I don't 100% know or trust. To be honest, it's been a hard adjustment for me but that's because it was my only reason I wanted to stay home. I do miss working and getting more of a break, BUT it is fun to be able to do activities with them and so incredible I get to provide them with a steady sense of security every day. Not having control over our income doesss give me anxiety sometimes but I trust my husband and know he's extremely ambitious so he always strives to make more for us.

I'd say make sure expectations are outlined between the two of you first and that you're mentally ready to leave work. All in all, a hard adjustment but I think it's so worth it for the benefits it has for your kids!

I feel like being able to afford it is the obvious one but in my opinion it’s having a social circle. Do you have mom friends? Do you have family you can visit regularly? Are you the type of person to go out and do things with your kiddo? I think it’s easy to get lonely as a sahm.

I'm a sahm so that we don't have to do daycare. It's obviously so much better doe children to have 1 consistent, loving caregiver that will stay in their lives and not just disappear.
It gets lonely at times, but.you just need to find people (library story time, playgroups, talk to other parents on playgrounds). Whenever I get negative feelings about being a sahm I remind myself thst I'm doing the most Importsnt work there is - raising the next generation!

in our community

Paternity

I had two partners and my baby father believes it’s not his baby. I had protected sex with the one on the 4th and the 16th. And unprotected sex with the second one on the 11th but he swears he “pulled out”. I know he’s the dad because what??? But he’s making me doubt it. And I tested positive on the 27th. Can you guys just tell me I’m not crazy or wrong😂

The loneliness of being the only mum in the group

Does anyone else feel like becoming a mum has made you an outsider in your own friend group?

I love my friends, but I’m the only mum among them. Lately it’s been quietly exhausting, I’m always the one who has to ask for the plan to change. “Can we meet somewhere a bit closer? Or even in the middle? Can we meet earlier because I can’t do dinners right now? Can we meet somewhere I can take the baby?” Every single time, it falls on me to raise it, because no one else has to think about it. While I understand that it’s hard to think about someone’s circumstances when you haven’t experienced them, is it wrong for me to expect a little more consideration?

This weekend it was a suggested meet up over an hour and twenty minutes away. Before my daughter, I wouldn’t have batted an eye at, but now I have to think about how fast I can get back if she needs me. I just sat there wondering, am I overreacting or have I just become an afterthought?

The loneliness of being the only mum in a group is so specific and so hard to explain, especially to my friends who are in completely different chapter of their lives. You’re surrounded by people who love you, and still feel completely unseen.

Anyone else navigating this?

I hope this doesn’t sound as dumb as I think

I’m starting to think the reason I don’t have any friends or a community is just because people are jealous. I know this sounds really stuck up and kind of air headed but I really think this could be it. Most people don’t show me any warmth it feels like even if I’m trying to be friendly and join a conversation they all just stare at me and look me up and down and look at each other like I’m making them uncomfortable, of course this makes me uncomfortable so I just walk away. And I can hear them laughing as soon as I do. This used to really get to me and hurt my feelings mainly because it made no sense. I’m not saying I’m beautiful by any means but I think people just might see things that they want and weirdly exclude me from things because of it. Does anyone else have this experience? like you know you’re not mean, and youre socially competent, but still feel like a freak that doesn’t belong

:/

Im realizing more and more how I don’t have a “village” how I’m really doing this alone with my fiancé but even then he goes to work daily and I’m home alone with no one. I currently need to go to the hospital because there may be a blood clot in my leg and no one can help with my girls and they’re sick so it makes it difficult.
Just knowing I don’t have a support system outside of my fiancé really just sucks. It makes me so sad.

Emotionally unintelligent men

How do you stay married to them?

We didn’t start this way I swear.

How do you cope in the marriage? Do you find somewhere else to confide in emotionally?

Maternity Pay

I’m confused about maternity pay! I’ve not been able to work much throughout my pregnancy due to having challenging pregnancy symptoms. I am aware that we get 6 weeks 90% pay and then 33 weeks £194.32 approx. a week (in Wales). My confusion is, does this figure of £194.32 a week get affected if you’ve had high sickness due to pregnancy?
And if you then don’t qualify for SMP, which I can imagine I won’t due to my high sickness. Then do I need to applying for Maternity Allowance and then this is £194.32 approx. a week, and does this change at all?

Thanks so much! Anyone with experience in this with opinions would be greatly appreciated 🙌🏻