Hard decision

Would you move thousands of miles away from your husband with your 6m baby because it would make sense financially for three months?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

If it was move away or starve on the streets, then I guess. But it would have to be that level of severity before I willingly moved away with a baby.

Avatar

I need more context to vote. Moving with a 6 month old is hard, but you said it would make sense financially. Are you moving in with family? Are you driving or flying? Do you have the support while away from your husband? Will you be taking all your stuff or buy all new stuff? It could absolutely make the most sense but there's so many factors and 3 months is a pretty short time in babyland

Avatar

Not thousands of miles but we currently live 50 miles alway from my husband and have done since she was 1 month old as my husband is renovating our new house and has a Job over there. And it is very difficult. Not in the sense that I struggle but more that I am constantly aware that the baby and her father don’t have the bond they should. That I feel upset that they both miss out on each other. that it’s just not fair for anyone

Avatar

Yes. We are a multicultural couple and we know there's gonna be season in life we would be physically distanced. Not a issue for us at all.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Paternity

I had two partners and my baby father believes it’s not his baby. I had protected sex with the one on the 4th and the 16th. And unprotected sex with the second one on the 11th but he swears he “pulled out”. I know he’s the dad because what??? But he’s making me doubt it. And I tested positive on the 27th. Can you guys just tell me I’m not crazy or wrong😂

Avatar

7

The loneliness of being the only mum in the group

Does anyone else feel like becoming a mum has made you an outsider in your own friend group?

I love my friends, but I’m the only mum among them. Lately it’s been quietly exhausting, I’m always the one who has to ask for the plan to change. “Can we meet somewhere a bit closer? Or even in the middle? Can we meet earlier because I can’t do dinners right now? Can we meet somewhere I can take the baby?” Every single time, it falls on me to raise it, because no one else has to think about it. While I understand that it’s hard to think about someone’s circumstances when you haven’t experienced them, is it wrong for me to expect a little more consideration?

This weekend it was a suggested meet up over an hour and twenty minutes away. Before my daughter, I wouldn’t have batted an eye at, but now I have to think about how fast I can get back if she needs me. I just sat there wondering, am I overreacting or have I just become an afterthought?

The loneliness of being the only mum in a group is so specific and so hard to explain, especially to my friends who are in completely different chapter of their lives. You’re surrounded by people who love you, and still feel completely unseen.

Anyone else navigating this?

Avatar

6

11

:/

Im realizing more and more how I don’t have a “village” how I’m really doing this alone with my fiancé but even then he goes to work daily and I’m home alone with no one. I currently need to go to the hospital because there may be a blood clot in my leg and no one can help with my girls and they’re sick so it makes it difficult.
Just knowing I don’t have a support system outside of my fiancé really just sucks. It makes me so sad.

Avatar

4

7

Emotionally unintelligent men

How do you stay married to them?

We didn’t start this way I swear.

How do you cope in the marriage? Do you find somewhere else to confide in emotionally?

Avatar

3

I hope this doesn’t sound as dumb as I think

I’m starting to think the reason I don’t have any friends or a community is just because people are jealous. I know this sounds really stuck up and kind of air headed but I really think this could be it. Most people don’t show me any warmth it feels like even if I’m trying to be friendly and join a conversation they all just stare at me and look me up and down and look at each other like I’m making them uncomfortable, of course this makes me uncomfortable so I just walk away. And I can hear them laughing as soon as I do. This used to really get to me and hurt my feelings mainly because it made no sense. I’m not saying I’m beautiful by any means but I think people just might see things that they want and weirdly exclude me from things because of it. Does anyone else have this experience? like you know you’re not mean, and youre socially competent, but still feel like a freak that doesn’t belong

Avatar

4

6

Maternity Pay

I’m confused about maternity pay! I’ve not been able to work much throughout my pregnancy due to having challenging pregnancy symptoms. I am aware that we get 6 weeks 90% pay and then 33 weeks £194.32 approx. a week (in Wales). My confusion is, does this figure of £194.32 a week get affected if you’ve had high sickness due to pregnancy?
And if you then don’t qualify for SMP, which I can imagine I won’t due to my high sickness. Then do I need to applying for Maternity Allowance and then this is £194.32 approx. a week, and does this change at all?

Thanks so much! Anyone with experience in this with opinions would be greatly appreciated 🙌🏻

Avatar

4

Read more on Peanut