Visas are Stupid

For pre-contex
My husband and I are long distance relationship as we met on a game
I live in the UK, and he lives in the US

Originally, we agreed I would move to the US because where he is specifically benefits me and him a lot, economy, housing, big family and support system...etc

We agreed to have a child prior to moving before UK health care SO taken advantage on that plus, saves us money for visa...etc

We knew having this child would still be possible for our plans, but we are just going to be slower, that's all.

Then I ended pregnant again semi planned.

Now thinking about we both agreed best for him he to come to the UK. As the UK benefits the kids more than us.

So we plan on him coming to UK save up several years down the line to then move to the US with all the money especially due to conversion on money
Example £25=$34 roughly

NOW for the Vent!
I'm so frustrated how the systems work and the difference between the US and UK

US only cost $1500 in segments and roughly takes 1yr to process
And simple task and requirements

UK on the other hand....fml
My husband have to do the application and provide evidence

I have to
•Proof UK citizenship
•Eligible Housing as in I can accommodate him
•have a £29k annum salary, but luckily, I'm except for it due to disability benefits

One Amazing thing is it only takes 12WEEKS!! To process and all

Now the thing that peed me off
The payment unlike the US
It have to payed in one sum
£2000+ application fee
And £3100 health surcharge fee

Like that's nearly $7k

Like how the hell me and him meant to get that sum!?

If it was just me and him, I wouldn't mind the wait and grind

BUT because our daughter is 1 in october and due in November, is one of those the sooner we get the money the sooner he can be here as a family and as present father without the back and forths visits to the US for us.

My mother is willing to help towards it which is sweet but I feel guilty as this is my responsibility and my Husband's but I'm just so stressed about it all

I know it will happen eventually amd things will be okay....but I just wish I could been sooner🫠

in our community

Hey future BFF!

I know you’re out there, let’s break the stereotypes and truly connect!

Cheating

How do I tell my partner I know he’s cheated on me without sounding psycho I went through his phone???? 🤣🥲

Father’s Day…

As Father’s Day is approaching what’s everyone getting their partners?

It’s my partners first Father’s Day, he doesn’t wear jewellery, the last keyring I got him came off eventually but thinking of getting him a personalised one or a personalised top! On the other hand was thinking of booking somewhere that him and little one could go together.

Just looking for ideas, I’m one that goes all out on gifts🩷

Is this a 🍃 group or not?

If you do not smoke pot you’re in the wrong place. If you have a problem with smoking pot you’re in the wrong place. If you judge others about smoking pot you’re in the wrong place. If you disagree you are in the wrong place. I’m tired of these bull post about “people arguing” it’s the same people vs the same people. Stfu or gtfo smh

Anyone else had to just drop their career all together?

So I had my first baby at 38 and now she’s almost two and I think we’re ready for baby #2 and of course there’s no room for delay as my age is something I do factor in. Not because I’ve struggled to get pregnant thankfully but because I am at a point I life where I feel like it’s not something I wanna put off at this stage.
However I’m self employed and it’s the type of job that just isn’t complimentary to being a mother. It’s a bit of an all or nothing job so I’ve had to decide that I might have to hit the pause button while I finish completing my family as that’s comes above everything.
But I’m also sad and struggling to let go. I spoke to my friend she said maybe I didn’t want another baby bad enough!!! She said if I wanted to have another baby that I wouldn’t care about my job.
But that just isn’t true at all. I think it’s perfect normal to accept that my work might have to go on the back burner but I’m also aloud to be a bit sad.
I’m more than being someone’s mother but for now I don’t see how I can work and focus on bringing life into the world.

Has anyone else been in the same boat?
How did you handle it? How did you come out the other side?

Xx

San Diego

My kids are driving me nuts, in desperate need of some mom friends haha, anyone that can keep a convo? Huge + if you’re in San Diego 😝