Hitting and hurting

Well first of all your partner is a prick for doing that and has to stop as it might be part of the reason why your son acts that way. Gentle parenting is great but for some kids it really doesn’t work, also my niece was one of them as well. We just had to tell her firmly that ‘we don’t hit’ or ‘we don’t throw’ and remove ourselves from her presence in that moment (could be as easy as a few steps aside or putting your child down) . It will pass but definitely have a word with your man about throwing stuff at you

Firstly, I’d have a serious chat with your partner and tell him it needs to stop - you shouldn’t even have to tell him this really as if you’ve put that boundary in place before and he’s ignored it, and he can see what your son is doing, it’s wrong.
There is an account on Instagram called a health visitor and she has a guide to helping children who do this. It is SO important that we’re raising children to not think that it is ok to hurt people, and implementing good behaviour starts early.
It sounds like you’re having a hard time and I feel for you, and it doesn’t sound like your partner is the most supportive which is absolutely what you need. If the ‘jokey’ behaviour continues and he gaslights you into thinking that it is normal and you can’t take a joke, I would contact the national domestic violence helpline (if you can do so safely) and have a chat with them to see what they think and any advice they can offer.

Your partner needs to stop doing that ASAP! That’s completely disrespectful and uncalled for.

Secondly, I would come to his level and calmly give your LO a warning that all his toys will be taken away if he keeps throwing things at you or hitting you. He would get 2 warnings and then they’ll be gone out of his reach for a few hours. Do not let him hit you and just take it. Remove yourself from the situation or gently hold his hands. But stay calm. This somehow makes me feel stronger as I’m in control. I’m more easygoing with other things but not hitting or throwing. Imagine he ends up hurting another child at nursery or school.

You’ve got this!!!! 💪🏽

So sorry this is happening to you! My boy is only 11 months, but I have worked with toddlers for 15 years many of which have struggled with this. I’ve been kicked, punched and even strangled many a time!

Firstly if you haven’t already, speak to your partner and set a firm boundary that this is not ok. His behaviour is childish and unsupportive to say the very least.

Secondly, my belief is you can still gentle parent with a firm tone and/or consequences. We always use really big loud voices for positivity and lower firm voices for discipline. Kids thrive when they have boundaries and telling your son a clear no when he’s hitting and hurting you won’t do him harm. It doesn’t have to be said in a cross way but a clear this is not ok may be more effective. Of course you don’t have to take any of this advice! This is just how I have found works. Best of luck! X

Your partner’s fault here. Children do what they see. You have to put a strong foot down to him first!
And what a prick for not stopping when you asked him to