Should I leave him or should I work things out ?
So I just wanted to come on here and sort of vent and get a non biased opinion. Me and my partner live with my parents to save some extra money to hopefully move out by the end of the year. My partner has been out of a job for 3 months, I gave him the benefit of the doubt the first 2 months but now i’m noticing he’s not really putting in the effort to look for a job. I work full time and on top of that, getting child care for our daughter, for him to be home ALL DAY play video games, smoke, shit, eat, sleep and repeat. It’s getting harder are the days go by, i have been coming home at 9 to find the room the same way it was when i left or find clothes piled up in a corner just to get it out of the way. I’m not asking him to cook me dinner or make me lunch. I just want help around the house and it seems like even the bare minimum is asking for alot. I’m debating alot if it’s best we stay together or separate. the reason that’s making me want to leave him is the fact he called his parents to tell him my parents are abusing him!! (by making him to chores around the house BTW) He’s not working, yet thinks doing house work/yard work is abusing him? making him a “slave” to my parents .. like bro ur not working, u don’t look after our daughter, u don’t actively look for work.. WHAT EXCUSE DO YOU HAVE?! Mind you, homeboy BEGGED and CRIED to my parents to let him move in with us because his parents were doing the same thing and “abusing” him by making him clean after “everyone” and they would actually physically abuse him. Now.. he’s claiming he’s forgiving his parents and now hates my parents for “abusing him” by making him do house work. I’m just so mad yall .. this has been happening for 3 months and my parents gave him until the end of june to find a job or he’s out.. i tried fighting and standing up for him but Im ready to give up.. should i or not? /:
Does your husband help at all around the house?
My husband works full time. Technically his hours are 730-5 m-f and sometimes saturday half days but he somehow doesn't get home till almost 8 every day. I work one day a week, 13 hours, but im also a student and we have 4 children ages 1, 4, 4, and 4. I do absolutely everything. I clean the house do tje laundry do the dishes cart the kids where they need to go schedule appointments pay bills I do absolutely everything. Today was a particularly long day the kids were melting down all day and I was just extremely drained, however my mom did come over to help clean and take me to lunch with my 1 year old. My husband gets home from work and I ask him to help me clean which is not something I do often if ever, to which he replies with the fact that he worked all day hes exhausted and doesn't feel like cleaning and basically said that my mom was supposed to come over to help me clean so what was I doing all day. He said he'd help with laundry while we watch our show, so I clean everything sweep dishes switching laundry loads all the stuff and then we get to the show and he proceeds to fold like maybe 3 things. He knows my love language is acts of service which is a topic we converse about a lot. After pointing out he didn't fold much he starts making moves on me (he tells me his love language is "physical touch specifically sexual physical touch") and after I tell him no he proceeds to become super irritable and short with me. This happens all the time. He never does a thing besides his obligations as a dad and sometimes gets the older kids ready for bed while I put the baby to sleep. Im just tired. There was a time where he was bedridden due to a motorcycle crash and I was pregnant with our rainbow and for months I worked full time 12 hour shifts taking care of sick patients, only to come home and take care of him, our three girls, our house, our bills, our everything on top of being full time school. I didn't get a restful pregnancy like I deserved and this is supposed to be my rest time but I feel like it just gets rubbed in my face. He says he doesn't expect to come home to a clean house every day but I cant maintain its cleanliness alone and if its not somewhat in order I can't perform my daily functions as an extremely busy mom. Lots of meat to this post theres a lot going on but I just feel like he thinks him going to work is his only contribution to our family.
